This came in today from an out-of-state reader:
Dear Red States,
We've decided that we're leaving. We intend on forming our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you arn't aware, that includes, California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and the entire Northeast. We believe that this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum it up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all of the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty, you get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft, you get WorldCom.
We get Harvard, you get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepeneurs, you get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the Tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware the Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all of our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids that they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not going to spend our resources in Bush's quagmire.