Jerame Davis

Getting the Boot

Filed By Jerame Davis | April 07, 2006 10:38 PM | comments

Filed in: Living

I got fired yesterday...


Well, that's not 100% correct. I got told yesterday that on May 6, I'm getting fired. Why, you might ask, are they telling me a month in advance? Mostly because they were too chicken shit to tell me sooner. But I'm not bitter...In fact, we had a little fun with it here in the office.

You see, half the employees in my dept. are hourly employees, the other half are salaried. We do the same job (don't get me started on how badly they screwed me on this) and have the same level of responsibility, but we get half the pay and no benefits. Nice, huh?

Well, because IUPUI is looking at a $7 million budget shortfall for next year, cuts were inevitable...Me and two of my coworkers were on the front lines - we're easy to get rid of because we are hourlies...Much easier than salaried individuals. So, our boss, let's call him Dan because that's his name, called a meeting with the three hourly employees yesterday and told us we had until May 6th to get out. It took him all of 4 minutes and he was done, out the door and shaking the dust off his boots. Real friendly fellow.

Well, we figured out that it was coming before the meeting, so it wasn't a total shock. We're all kinda relieved because it means no more interminable nightshifts. Yay.

So, my co-worker Jenna said she was pissed because Dan didn't bring us a cake. She said he should have brought us a cake and that she wasn't going to be happy until she got one...With ponies no less.

I thought this was funny as hell. So tonight, my other co-worker Matt and I cooked up a scheme to get Jenna a cake. (It was a bit selfish too since tomorrow is my birthday...Happy Birthday, you're fired!) I went to the store and bought one of those tiny little 1/8th sheet cakes and a tube of icing. Matt then drew a horse with three legs and a big penis (OK it was supposed to be the 4th leg, but it looks SOOO like a penis) and wrote "You're Fired" on the cake, which is what you see above.

Good times. If only all firings could be so jolly.

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Does this mean Jenna's philosophy is "Let them eat cake?" At least they could have given you a sex chamois as a parting gift...

Bruce Parker | April 8, 2006 4:15 AM

Does this mean you will be a full time love machine?

Personally I'm freaked out that I had to look at that damn cake 4 times before I could identify the penis. I'd forgotten how "big" they are.

I hope Jenna doesn't have that problem.

Ellen Andersen | April 8, 2006 4:58 PM

Ouch. Jerame, that sucks. :(

My philosophy, Bil, is actually that any firing should be made with a cake for each of the people being terminated and to ease the blow ponies must be incorporated in some way. Ponies make everything better.(even if said pony has only three legs and a rather large penis)

More photos of the Employee Termination Pony Cake (tm) at my blog