Alex Blaze

Ex-gayism is one big yo' mama joke

Filed By Alex Blaze | February 24, 2007 2:27 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: ex-gay, LGBT families, parents

If you spend enough time going through the literature of people who sell ex-gayism as a cure, you begin to hear a near-constant blame-the-parents message. Sure, if their cure doesn't work, they blame you, but when they talk about why someone is gay, it's always the parents fault. They say that the parent of the same sex was distant or absent, that the kid was sexually abused, that, for boys, the mother was smothering and overprotective, and that, famously, the father didn't show off his penis to his son often enough.

I know, I know, their evidence is completely and intentionally skewed, they don't know what they're talking about, they just don't like the gays. I know. But I can't help but actually take some of this as a direct insult to my parents, who were great. Honestly, I can't think of any major mistake that they made, they were supportive and loving, but also gave me enough space to grow up fine. They were good parents, and I don't like how they're the target of the religious right. I know that the reason they developed this narrative is to take away rights from me, but I can't help but wonder if all the digs at my parents aren't a bonus for these people.

One elaborate yo' mama joke against all queer people. Like, really pro-family.

(Crossposted from Q-Bomb)

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I recently found out that one of my co-workers is married to an ex-gay. There are so many things wrong with the situation, I don't know where to begin.

First and foremost, if you're truly so offended by gays and believe that what they've done is so vile, how can you crawl into bed at night with someone who used to do those things you hold in such contempt? How do you really know that person isn't still sneaking a little somethin'-somethin on the side? Particularly when you look at the statistics for ex-gays returning to their heathen ways and see that something like 90% do so.

It's all very sad.

I like this coworker, but I feel sorry for her knowing that it's more likely than not that she's going to experience heartache and betrayal because her husband is being forced into a box into which he doesn't fit. Even worse is the potential damage to the young child they've brought into the world.

The father needs to show off his penis to his son more... I just had to click through and read that one. It's the first time I've completely read something from beginning to end, of Dobson's. Actually, I read it outloud to my partner, with lots of "big religion" inflection. Quite a humorous piece.

"Big religion"
I like that. It makes a subtle connection to "big" meaning trust, like "big oil" and "big pharma". Seems apt to me. It also makes a distinction between big religion and small religion that isn't run like a multi-national corporation.

Yeah, yeah, I know that's not what you meant, but that won't stop me from rolling with it.