I'm on the bus, surrounded by someone's terrible perfume closing my nostrils even on this glorious foggy day. Who is the culprit -- is it the woman in front of me, Dior glasses with coffee brown overcoat and matching headband, or the woman next to me who left her keys somewhere, that's what she's telling the person on the phone, please don't forget to bring my keys. But she's a little more on the alternative side, thriftstore cowboy shirt but I'm not sure about the rest of the outfit -- she's too close to scan the details.
Oh, wait -- that's not perfume, someone is wearing a whole scented candle, plum or grape or something -- maybe it is the woman next to me, but when she's getting ready to leave I realize actually she's more high-end than Miss Dior, quilted leather Chanel bag that looks like it might actually be real, her hair tied into a bun, skintight designer jeans and white-and-brown wingtip-hybrid things with heels that are delicate and sturdy, understated matte in the expensive shoe kind of way. She leaves, and there goes the scented candle, but the guy who takes her place smells like a mixture of smoke and soap, like the two are competing, smoke pulling in front of soap no soap takes the lead oh - a brutal fall -- smoke out ahead!
Meanwhile, this guy gets on who's aging gracefully, blue eyes that match his navy quilted hooded jacket, at first I clock him for a fag because of the way he looks me in the eyes, or maybe just the eyes -- I like his eyes -- but I'm not sure about the baggy Levi's gas station attendant jeans -- you know, the ones that look like they were acid-washed with oil. He's got the Asics sneakers with orange crisscross on navy, I guess he's into navy, yes he's the kind of guy who's into navy, although I can also see him working brown. Speaking of brown, it turns out that Miss Dior is carrying a Coach bag, the monogram one, brown and tan. But the true fashion alert occurs at Geary and Masonic: skaters in skinny jeans! Not the mod jeans skaters used to wear back in the day, but those terrible lycra zip-up things making the fashion casualty rounds these days -- skinny jeans with big floppy fratboy hair, Geary and Masonic, you heard it here first.
Mattilda blogs at nobodypasses.blogspot.com