Don Sherfick

The Cheney grandson and the fuss over grandpa's place in the executive branch

Filed By Don Sherfick | June 25, 2007 7:40 AM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, The Movement
Tags: Dick Cheney, Heather Poe, James Dobson, lynne cheney, Mary Cheney, Mitt Romney, vice president

I've been wondering of late why, after all of the talk leading up to the birth of Mary Cheney and Heather Poe's baby Samuel David Cheney, and the initial headlines and picture of Grandpa Dick and Grandma Lynne (but not Mary and Heather themselves) with the new arrival, the stories seem to have dried up about as much as my front yard before last weekend's rain. Not that I don't think Mary, Heather, and Samuel David need some privacy from the media glare; although don't get me started about some of the hypocrisy involved.

But maybe the lack of further Samuel photo-ops is about to change. It's come to light that Grandpa Dick is claiming that the Office of Vice President isn't part of the Executive Branch. Read that again if you have to. Yes, even though the last time I looked Article II of the Constitution it put the VEEPUS right in there with the POTUS. (POTUS, if you never watched "The West Wing", means "President of the United States"; don't ask about VEEPUS and I won't tell).

So what's all of that got to do with the newest little Cheney? I think the real reason for why VEEPUS has exempted his office from the Executive Branch has to do getting the Cheney family's non-traditional branch out of the Administration's official limelight. Just imagine how upset James Dobson and other members of the Religious Right would get upon opening the newspaper and seeing pictures of Samuel David crawling under Grandpa Dick's desk when Heather and Mary stop by for a visit. This in the very shadow of the Office of President, the same one whose incumbent says that passage of the Federal Marriage Amendment is vital to preserving our traditional values.

Except now it won't be in that shadow or even close. Grandpa Dick's office is now organizationally as far away from the one POTUS occupies as Jupiter is from Venus, Iraq is from stability or Mitt Romney was from Sam Brownback on gay rights and abortion until Romney set his own sights on the big Oval room. So Mary, Heather, and Samuel David can visit Grandpa Dick behind his desk without really ever setting foot in Article II territory or the Domain of the Decider. As a result, Presidential approval ratings will surge, er, soar to....well...maybe..27%. And Samuel David can crawl to his heart's content under Grandpa' desk, so long as he doesn't tear up the draft of Scooter Libby's pardon.

Now if the Cheneys could just figure out a way to say that Heather and Mary's home in the Commonwealth of Virginia really isn't in Virginia. That might give the sixth grandchild of Dick and Lynn some legal protection that Virginia has gone out of its way not to recognize. Anybody know how West Virginia got started?

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