Steve Ralls

Solid Gold Rumors About Karl & His 'Family'

Filed By Steve Ralls | August 22, 2007 8:26 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Marriage Equality
Tags: Jeff Gannon, Karl Rove, Mark Foley, steve ralls

It's (almost) official: Karl Rove is gay. If you believe Jeff Gannon's former employer, Talon News, that is.

DC gossip Wonkette is reporting (and Talon is sort of confirming) that Gannon is planning a 'tell-all' book about Rove which will say that Bush's brain - who orchestrated some of the most anti-gay political strategies in history - liked White House sleepovers . . . with Gannon. Karl, it seems, was a customer of Gannon's, and enjoyed the occassional rendez-vous with the former hooker, "including several overnight stays in the White House Buchanan bedroom."

There's no word on the particulars of Rove's 'purchases,' but details, apparently, are due in September.

Gannon's book, tentatively titled Behind Enemy Lines, will be published soon. And, according to Talon News, "Karl Rove apparently fears being exposed as a former customer of Gannon's or his military pron websites like"

And, (pay attention Bill Richardson!) there's new evidence that being gay is genetic.

We all knew that Karl's adoptive father was gay . . . and passed away just as the White House adviser was implementing his anti-marriage amendment campaign in 2004. And if we believe the old moniker of 'like father, like son,' the lurid details of Karl's trips to the Buchanan bedroom (which, one imagines, he thought may have been named after Pat or Bay) should be scandalous, indeed.

"Karl's dad once appeared on the cover of 'Piercing Fans International Quarterly,'" Wonkette reports, " . . . He had 37 piercings and they were all made of solid gold."

Now, I have to imagine that Karl's dad was probably a good guy (or at least a lot better than his son), but 37 PIERCINGS?! IN SOLID GOLD? Damn . . .

I like the occassional piercing (as both my ears evidence), but where do you put 37 of them?!

The possibilities boggle 'the brain.'

But regardless, Behind Enemy Lines should be all the fodder we need for a fall to rival only that of Mark Foley's autumnal IMs. So stay tuned as we learn more about what Karl meant by spending more time with his 'family.'

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It would make sense that those the most staunchly against gays and gay rights may be gay themselves and since they are having a hard time trying to deal with it go into denial refusing that gay exists. However, I personally don't see how you can put a lot of credence into these assertions right now, or even after the book comes out. For me, it is going to take a lot more than one person claiming this (other people need to confirm it) before I will believe it.

The entire ideal of publishing a book claiming Rove is gay sounds a lot like a publicity stunt to me, and I never put a lot of trust in what people trying to advertise themselves tell me.

Leland Frances | August 22, 2007 10:57 PM

Well, I was already sure about Karlotta, even if she didn't know herself.

As for Jeff Gannon, aren't he and Andrew Sullivan getting married this month in PeeTown? Wait, I have just been handed a note....ah, it seems the other party's name might actually be "Aaron" .... and that somehow his last name — which Andy Out & Proud Pandy has on occasion refused to reveal — is now known to be "Tone." And they are registered at Right Wing Stores everywhere. Ask for the Marc Cherry china pattern.

FLASH: it appears "Aaron [or Jeff or Consuela or whatever] is a top.....artist. It must be looove — what else could drive one to paint a bottom like Andy Pandy er Andy Pandy's bottom which he labels, "Fine Art":

While this — at least from the double chins up — is the Andrew we all ___________________

Well, maybe at least they hired Gannon for one of their bachelor parties, or he'll show up at the wedding with Karlotta as his guest.

Karl Rove is a public figure in a very powerful political position and the overwhelming evidence tell me that Karl rove in not a heterosexual, I think it’s only fair that the public knows his sexual orientation.