Dear President Nicolas Sarkozy,
I write to you today on behalf of the people of the United States of America. It is my understanding that your skank wife had an affair and is leaving you.
It is my great concern that the producers of ABC’S the Bachelor will wish to snatch you up for the twelve installment of their suckass reality series.
I hope you do not take the route as I have the perfect woman for you.
Her name is Britney Spears.
She has the mental state and hot body needed to be an oustanding wife!
Britney is the ideal First Lady of your great nation!
And quite frankly, bitch has exhausted all options in America personally and professionally.
I am not sure if France has any pop stars? She could do that too with proper lighting and backing tracks.
Do you live in a castle? Do you have a pole installed yet?
Details- will text you later!
Please take this request seriously and note the signatures below as support for this marriage.
PS: I see that you are always a lawyer – perfect!