Michele O'Mara


Filed By Michele O'Mara | November 13, 2007 9:35 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: dating, relationships, roommates

I'm a college student living with 3 other women, all my best friends. One roommate and I have decided to pursue a relationship with each other. We sat everybody down and started and open dialogue about the situation--one that we're confident we can maintain. I care for her very much, and I want this to work, but I know living with my girlfriend can be a little tricky. What tips do you have?

I suspect the biggest challenge will be your ability to maintain separate lives; where you are able to continue nurturing old, and building new, friendships (including your roommates). It's unclear to me whether or not your roommates are just now discovering they live with lesbian/bisexual women, or if that is old news. In either case, I would be as sensitive as possible to their comfort level with your affection at home. If this is new for them, they may need time to process their new discovery. If they are not new to this information, just be respectful of your common space. It's akin to one of them moving in their boyfriend which may feel a little invasive of the common space if you interact in ways that exclude them.

Beyond that, be sure to go on dates, get out of the house, and give your relationship a traditional opportunity to develop as it would if you were not living together already. And remember, enjoy yourselves - dating is supposed to be fun!

Michele O'Mara, LCSW

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