Storm Bear

Romney’s Secret Weapon Against Huckabee

Filed By Storm Bear | December 06, 2007 8:50 AM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: Christian beliefs, fundamentalism, gay cartoons and comics, GOP, humorous blog post, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Mormon, politics, religious right, webcomics

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If somehow Mitt Romney can overcome Rudy's mistress/police scandal and Huckabee's religious fueled surge in the polls, he may have one thing that can help him in the general election - a lack of serious religious fundamentalism in his past.

Yeah, I know, he is not my candidate either and I abhor his policies. I know he wants to crawl up into my wife's uterus and legislate what she does with her ova and I understand he is a nutcase when it comes to foreign policy and economics. All of that aside, he doesn't hold a candle to Huckabee. Huckabee IS A ORDAINED SOUTHERN BAPTIST MINISTER!!! You can't get more cranky than that unless you are wearing a Klan hood.

Most of my issues surrounding Christianity stems from the Southern Baptists - they deny science, they generally believe the Bible is the literal word of God and are some of the most bigoted people I know. I actually know Southern Baptists who voted for Bush and STILL support him because he is God's instrument for bringing about the Rapture.

Understand I am also not a Mormon, but you must admit, they do not have THAT track record. They have had their own problems (Blacks being not fully human, etc.) but they have made great strides in correcting those problems. Kinda like when Bill Gates realized the Internet WAS going to be important after all and moved the whole of Microsoft in that direction overnight. The likes of Jim Jeffords I do not associate with the Latter Day Saints whatsoever.

To all of us secularists, Romney is much more digestible than Huckabee. He is not weighed down by that cross Huckabee drags around everywhere he goes.

As a meth addict once told me, "come down off that cross, someone else needs the wood."

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I tell people "Get off the cross, we need the wood" constantly. That's really funny.