Gina de Vries

I'm lighting metaphorical candles & praying really hard for this kid...

Filed By Gina de Vries | February 14, 2008 3:20 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Living, Living
Tags: gay youth, lgbt youth, prayer, queer youth, survival, violence

A fifteen year-old queer (and possibly trans? definitely gender-variant...) kid was shot at his school yesterday, and has been declared brain-dead.

I don't even know what to say. This really upsets me. I'm praying for him and his friends and family. I have a lot I want to write about youth and survival, violence and strength, beauty and god... But at the moment, I'm just trying really hard not to cry for this person I haven't even met.

It's not that this is necessarily more terrible than the murder of any other person. Death is death, violence is violence. It's that I feel this chilling, bone-deep, heart-pumping, shivering empathy about this. I've been that kid who's been tossed around in the halls at school, I've been that kid who never felt safe for a moment around her peers. I survived, I escaped, and I managed to thrive.

Some queer kids don't, and I'm grieving for all of them -- for all of us -- today.

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I hear you, Gina. And I agree.

I can't even write today. This has simply shaken me to my core.

English class. shot in the back of the head. For wearing make up? declaring he was gay?

in middle school?

my son is in middle school.

I knew I was a lesbian at 15. I knew a lot of bad things could happen.

I never thought anyone would shoot me.

happy fucking valentine's day, huh?

This hit too close to home for me too. I can't imagine.


Thanks for posting this. I only heard about this last night at the Weimar NY performance -- an otherwise celebratory event.

In reading more and following up today, I am repeatedly hit with pangs of rage and sorrow.

Somehow, the violence against us must end.


With nearly 400 names on the list for the Transgender Day of Remembrance, there must be a way to demand the violence and the murder of gender variant people stop.

I believe the school must accept some of the responsibility for failing to make the school safe.