Kate Clinton

Sitting Shiva On She

Filed By Kate Clinton | February 27, 2008 3:15 PM | comments

Filed in: Politics, The Movement
Tags: Barack Obama, gender, Hillary Rodham Clinton, lesbians, Mike Bloomberg, Monique Wittig, president, Shiva, Urban Outfitters, women

Don’t ask. I’m a 60 year old white woman with the last name Clinton. How do you think I feel?

pic_shiva_a_27.jpgPlease do not tell me your long night of the soul “Let this cup pass from me, Oprah” story about when you decided to switch from Hillary to Obama. I do not feel your pain.

Please do not send me that “Good-bye to All That Part II” Robin Morgan piece. It’s brill, but it reminds me of one of those desperate prayer chain letters. When you haven’t got a prayer. Besides, I am the weakest link in chain letters.

When I ask you a simple question, like “Can we get to 42nd Street in this traffic?”, please don’t breathlessly bug-eye me with, “Yes we can!” Sheesh.

Like the new Lexus, I have pre-collision intelligence, so I didn’t watch the last Democratic debate. My partner did. Actually she switched back and forth between American Idol with Simon Cowell and American Idol with Tim Russert. At least my partner didn’t announce to everyone that if I didn’t do well in Ohio and Texas, I wouldn’t have a chance.

I put on her new BOSE headset, cranked up Strauss’s “Thus Spake Zarathustra” and did the crossword puzzle.

Did I miss anything?

Obama won? Wow, I so did not see that one coming.

I’ve been thinking about returning to my radical lesbian separatist roots. Get back to the land. Get off the grid. Get some flannel shirts and patchooli at Urban Outfittters. Okay, maybe not that far back. But I have been re-reading my favorite feminist thinkers.

Like contemporary French Feminist philosopher, Monique Wittig. She said that heterosexuality is a political regime in which “woman” exists only through her relation to the category “man”. Between Gauloises, she called for the abolition of gender categories and boldly proclaimed that lesbians are not women.

Aha! My mistake was wanting a woman president. Next time I will be much more specific. I want a lesbian president, who is not beholden to a man or the derivative, woman. Think Mike Bloomberg, but vive la difference. He bought the NYC mayoralty fair and square so he did not owe anyone anything. That allowed him to go after smokers, small-gun toters and trans fats.

Shiva is the paradoxical god of opposites. What is the opposite of cynicism of despair but the audacity of hope. Where is Christine Quinn? Get me Tammy Baldwin’s number.

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I'm disappointed in not being allowed to go to NYC because of what Bloomberg did. I'm wondering how much weight I'll have to lose before I'm not considered "trans fat" any longer.

So, what would YOUR Clinton White House be like? Parties in the Lincoln Bedroom? Toys not included.

"Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress on."

HA, I love that you are sharing on Bilerco now. We can comment and they get posted. Yippee...now what was I going to say. Oh and yes, Lesbians are not women, we are sexy bitches.

"Where is Christine Quinn?"

You won't find her at the HRC Dinner. I don't think her roots were showing when it came time to stand up.

It is wonderful to have you posting here, Kate! This was great!

Kate, I'm so with you on this one. Thanks for putting exactly what I was thinking into words.

Gee, I go to all that trouble, go through transition, get GRS, and now I find out that lesbians aren't women!

Well it ain't worth it to be straight just so I can call myself a woman.

Geeze, Kate. You lost me in the last paragraph. From your headline, I was waiting for the big pay-off that you were *sitting shiva* (the Jewish mourning ritual) for Hillary's campaign. How disappointing! I was getting all geared up to tell you my family cutesy story about it. Go ahead and tell it anyway, you say? Well, sure... since you asked.

My great aunt - Tanta Fannie (born circa 1870) didn't speak English very well, but didn't want to embarass herself using Yiddish. She answered the phone because no one else was there. So she didn't want to tell the caller that everyone had gone on a "shiva call". Instead, she let him know that they were away on a "cold donuts" call.

Cold donuts?? She was *trying* to say "condolence call". So it became a family homage to call shiva a "cold donuts call", which helped to leaven the occassion.

Okay, for the sake of accuracy, make that my great grand aunt. Or is it great great aunt? In any case, she was my grandfather's aunt. I realize no one cares since it doesn't effect the story, but I envisioned someone asking me if I was 90 years old. ;-)

Actually she switched back and forth between American Idol with Simon Cowell and American Idol with Tim Russert.

Ain't that the truth? I flipped between them too.

Only in America can the people be so influence by the "American Idol" mentality of the media.


I was working my ass off for your blog and you were watching American Idol, Bil?


Obama is going to have his ass kicked by McCain. You don't think that everyone is not going to be sick to death of "yes we can" by november?

I hear you, Madame Clinton. Let's get down with some womyn's music and drown our sorrows in tofu milk shakes. I am sick to death of the sexism that is rotting this Democratic primary campaign. And Sara Whitman was right, too! Obama's best ideas are taken from, not Deval Patrick, but Hilary Clinton. Next time the dyke candidate: no derivatives, no male reference points, no shit. All lesbians all the time.