Chuck Norris's column this week is rather funny if you share in my sick sense of humor.
He lays out three items, one on each guns, God, and gays, and asks how crazy we've become because we aren't doing what Thomas Jefferson thought we should be doing on each of these items.
Yes, that standard-bearer of morality for 2008, Thomas Jefferson. And somehow Chuck Norris has the power to read his mind as well (did he roundhouse kick the concepts of space, time, and reality to gain that ability?).
So let's go straight to what he says about the Day of Silence:
Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our Founders expected for the public education system they started? Even the most liberal among them opposed it. For example, Thomas Jefferson drafted a bill concerning the criminal laws of Virginia, in which he proposed that the penalty for sexual deviance should be unique corporal punishment. Jefferson's views were indeed representative of early America:
"Whosoever shall be guilty of Rape, Polygamy, or Sodomy with man or woman shall be punished, if a man, by castration, if a woman, by cutting thro' the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch diameter at the least." Can you imagine a statesman proposing such a law today?
While I'm not, of course, espousing such treatment, I do believe that we equally and adamantly should oppose such aberrant sexual behavior from being condoned or commemorated in our public schools through textbooks or a so-called "Day of Silence."
Actually, I could imagine a "statesman proposing such a law today." Maybe it's because I don't suffer from Perpetual Homophobe Victimhood Syndrome.
Seriously, though, what is he espousing if not the sort of treatment he quoted Jefferson advocating? And can he not see the difference between rape and consensual buttsex? (Why is it that conservatives always have a problem seeing the importance of consent?)
Then there's that troubling statement about how the Founders "started" public education, even though states didn't have public schools until the mid-1800's and the public school system didn't take its modern form until the early 1900's.
And who died and made Jefferson king? The dude also owned slaves - should we reinstate slavery, Chuck Norris? And it's not like Jefferson is really a standard-bearer when it comes to keeping sex in the confines of marriage, either....
I realize that this is the same sort of textual fundamentalism, the belief that one person's interpretation of an exalted text can provide for everyone's morality, that the Right loves using with regards to the Constitution and the Bible, except twisted a bit because Chuck Norris just isn't all that smart. But he's a columnist on Townhall.com, so if they love his work enough to hire him and visit that site enough to make it one of the top conservative webpages there is, we have to wonder about their collective intelligence.