Fannie Fierce

Nosy Friends!

Filed By Fannie Fierce | March 14, 2008 9:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: advice column, dating, friends with benefits, monogamy

Dear Fannie,

One of my best friends just got with his new boyfriend, who's much older. They've been dating for only a month or two, and now they're moving in together. While I want to be really happy for them... I'm not. My friend's boyfriend is absurdly rich, and my friend is well... not. He's actually kind of a sap on resources, and I can't help think that he might be taking advantage of the guy. I'm also pretty sure that he's cheated on his boyfriend, but the boyfriend doesn't know. Should I do anything?

--Fearing for Friend


While it sounds like your bud may be a grade A gold digger, all of your evidence is a shade or two south of hearsay. It won't hold up in court nor will it here. Being "pretty sure" and "think[ing] that" is a whole lot of speculation into something you might not have a full grasp on.

Just because your friend has "wifed and wealthily" (though not in Padua) doesn't mean he's out for his hubby's hedge fund. And even if he is, it's not an invalid reason to be in a relationship. A little pathetic? Maybe, but morally reprehensible? Not so much. Sure it's easy to feel sorry for the old bloke who looks like he's getting flinched by your friend. But, it's also important to remember that the ol' bastard is getting a hot young 20-something eye candy. People get together all the time for a vastly variable array of reasons, and who are we to decide which reasons are valid?

Sure it may be noble to find your one true love, in sickness and health, your soulmate, your sky, your stars, et al. But frankly, I think that love down on earth is far more complicated than a fairy tale. Every person comes with a package (pardon the double entendre): personality, sexuality, family, and of course... economy. To disregard any one of those parts of the package deal is being irresponsible.

Long story short, unless you have some more concrete evidence of your friend's infidelity, and also a firm grasp on both of their opinions on monogamy... mind your own fucking business.

Note: To all those would-be-gold-diggers out there. While I absolutely affirm and support your right to your penthouse and Lexus package. Take a word from the wary: You'll never have the moon.


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Good advice, Fannie. I make it my mantra to stay the hell out of my friend's lovelives unless specifically asked my opinion.

I also make it my mantra to stay the hell out of my friends' love lives unless specifically asked for my... well, not opinion.