Check out what Greta van Susteren had to say on Fox News' website (via Hullabaloo):
No doubt these days are extremely painful for Governor Spitzer's wife Silda. In addition to her own pain, she has 3 children -- and no doubt she is doing as any Mother would do and that is to try and help them with their own pain from their Father's conduct.
So here is your chance...if you could send a note to Silda Spitzer that you knew she would read, what would you write her? Here is your chance...post your note to her right here:
During what could be the hardest time in Silda Spitzer's life, I'm sure she'll find great comfort in the wisdom of Fox News' regular viewers.
Maybe she could learn a thing or two from Dr. Laura this week?
"When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs," the popular psychologist and radio personality said.
Or maybe Beth Mares, a marriage counselor from Toronto, will have some better unsolicited advice?
[Silda] can also get some martyr points as the good, forgiving wife. That's what the Christian wife is supposed to do.
Hell, since we're asking anyone, what about commenter "Auspicious" on the message boards at Nigerian Village Square?
Is it wrong or right for spouses of public persons to stand by their partners exposed for infedility at their 'confessional press conferences'?
My answer is a simple YES, IT IS RIGHT - it is my belief that in doing so, such spouses are not just doing it for themselves, but for the public. They owe themselves and the public such comportment as long as the cheating spouse remains a public person.[...]
I think a refusal to do so is an incongruous emotional reaction that is unbecoming of a person who occupies the office of a first-lady/person in any capacity - be ye the spouse of a Governor, President, Senator or whatever.
Indeed, Auspicious. I'm sure ye have a lot of experience as a first-lady/person in any capacity.
I wonder if our reality TV and talk show culture has made us feel like we have a right to comment on anyone's love and sex lives, no matter how little we know about them. I seriously doubt that many people who'll give van Susteren a message for Silda even knew that Silda was a first-name before this heterosexy scandal broke out.
It's interesting that people would even think that they could say anything to Silda Spitzer, let alone ask the world for random submissions. I wonder if the fact that many see her as, or at least think that she's supposed to be, a helpless victim that they can pity her, looking down their noses from their wonderful relationship and sex lives at the poor woman whose husband loved high-priced hookers more than he loved her.
(In a completely reductive comparison, if Nancy Pelosi were caught with a high-priced male hooker, would anyone be asking us to send messages to the helpless and hapless Paul Pelosi?)
I'm not going to push some sort of private/public division here, but I am going to say that there's no way we know enough about this situation to even make the assumption that Silda is passive victim. Commenter Nick said the other day:
Maybe his wife got off on knowing that he was having sex with other women, and he'd come home and tell her about it while they had really hot sex together? It's certainly possible.
Who among us knows? Let's cut the infantilizing victim rhetoric about her or her appearance with Eliot while he confessed. We don't know why she did it, but we shouldn't pretend like we know better than she what she should have done.