Michele O'Mara

50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: # 45-46

Filed By Michele O'Mara | May 22, 2008 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: advice column, lesbian, love advice, love tips, relationship, relationship advice, tips

In my book, Love Tips and Trips for Gay and Lesbian Relationships, I have identified 50 Ways to Keep Your Lover. My post last Friday offered strategies 43-44, this week I am sharing strategies 45-46. Look for more strategies next week!

45. Share Your Passions. Passion is contagious. Whether or not you share the same interests, as your partner does not matter. What does matter is that you share their passion. If gardening is your partner's passion and not yours, then walk with him all around the house, the garden, looking at every tree, shrub, plant, flower and piece of bark about which he is excited. Share his excitement, whether or not you share his interest!

46. Prioritize your Relationship. In our society it is more socially acceptable - and at times encouraged - to put most anything else above our same-sex relationships. Working long hours, spending time with family, friends, hobbies, and just about everything else is prized more highly than prioritizing a same-sex relationship.

With the endorsement of a society which seems to support the message that just about anything you want to do is more valuable than engaging with your same-sex partner, it is no wonder you might struggle to know how to be successful in relationships.

Who do you prioritize when you are faced with competing demands? Do you visit your family for the holidays with or without your partner? Who are you prioritizing when you make that choice? Do you rearrange your house before your family visits, putting pictures of you and your partner away, setting up the spare bedroom to look like you have separate rooms, etc.? Who are you prioritizing when you make this choice?

No matter how you look at it, where you put your time, energy, and resources is a reflection of what is most important to you.

Michele O'Mara, LCSW

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