Michele O'Mara

50 Ways to Keep Your Lover: # 47-48

Filed By Michele O'Mara | May 30, 2008 10:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: advice column, lesbian, relationship, tips

In my book, Love Tips and Trips for Gay and Lesbian Relationships, I have identified 50 Ways to Keep Your Lover. My post last Friday offered strategies 45-46, this week I am sharing strategies 47-48. Look for more strategies next Friday!

47. Expect The Best. Your standards and expectations pave the way for what you attract into your life. If you operate from the belief that you cannot have a partner who is "healthy," "intelligent," or "attractive" because you aren't enough of those things yourself, you are limiting yourself. If you want to improve your golf game, are you going to play with someone you consider to be inferior to you? No. Relationships are similar in that if you want to invest your life with another, you want to do so with a partner, whom you believe, has something to offer you. Ultimately you are in charge, whether or not you want to improve your game of life through the partner with which you choose to share that life.

48. Broaden your definition of intimacy. When you think about intimacy, what is the first thing that comes to mind? If you are like many people it is sex. Sex and intimacy are definitely in the same book--the book of vulnerability--but many times sex and intimacy are several chapters apart.

Sex is a loaded topic for many couples. And intimacy is often not a topic at all. As you deepen your connection, your authentic, loving, intimate connection, you begin to peel back the layers that serve to protect your real self. Intimacy is the act of two people revealing themselves in the most honest, genuine, and real way possible. It is the act of knowing and being known. In a love relationship, intimacy is a shared experience, a mutual revealing of the mind, body, and spirit with someone you respect and love.

Michele O'Mara, LCSW

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Are you going to turn these tips into a white paper so our readers can download them all at any time?

Bil, actually you can get all 50 tips in my book titled, "Love Tips and Trips for Gay and Lesbian Relationships" at Amazon.com. :)