People ask me lots of questions, which is no surprise to me given that two of my books are Q&A books on gay issues--Is It A Choice? and What if Someone I Know Is Gay? Every Sunday I'll be drawing from my archives to answer a question, some serious, some not so serious. Or I'll be answering a question submitted by you (contact Eric).
During my years of nursing I have heard people say, "What a waste." I took it as meaning a waste of a nice looking gay man. Have you ever had that question asked to you? I would appreciate your input.
-- RN in PA
Dear RN in PA,
I can't count the number of times that people have said to me over the years "What a waste," or "If only you were straight!" Lucky for me that I'm not because there are a lot of mothers who would be mad at me for not marrying their daughters and there's no way I could have married all the women who considered it a waste that I was gay.
I generally tried to take those comments as a compliment, but it felt like more of an insult. Having the good fortune to be a nice-looking gay man (I can't take credit for the genes my parents passed on to me) certainly didn't feel like a waste to me!
People often say stupid things without thinking. And unfortunately people say more stupid things to us out of ignorance or insensitivity. It doesn't hurt to have a thick skin and/or a sense of humor.