Don Sherfick

False Larry Craig alert in Pennsylvania - darn it!

Filed By Don Sherfick | June 07, 2008 1:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Politics
Tags: airport, Larry Craig, Lebanon PA, nudity, portable toilet, restroom

I read the headline that had "here we go again" written all over it, and since many of you readers seem to be collectively yawning at my multiple speculations concerning Larry Craig being John McCain's running mate, I thought I had an "I told you so" for sure.

This time from Lebanon, Pennsylvania, where a naked man in a portable toilet got stuck there and had to call 911 to get rescued. The item didn't say whether or not Lebanon has an airport, let alone an airport restroom, so I should have known it was a false lead.

Sorry. But I'll still wait and see if Larry's contemplated book will have a disclaimer on the back like: "I am not from Lebanon, Pennsylvania... I have never been in a portable potty in Lebanon, Pennsylvania, even with my clothes on. I doubt if they have a gay bar there which I still woudln't go to even if I were "that way"... which I am not now nor have I ever been."

So much for his stance in Pennsylvania.

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Naked man in a toilet? That's what she said!

Oh, wait, that makes no sense.

Don Sherfick Don Sherfick | June 7, 2008 4:11 PM

Yep, that's "what she said", Alex. I haven't looked up the Wikopedia article on terminlogy used in Lebanon, Pennsylvania to confirm, but perhaps there is yet a distinction between being naked in the toilet, as opposed to being naked in a port-a-potty ENCLOSURE surrounding the toilet. Or maybe not.

Maybe there wasn't even an enclosure.

And then there is the question as to whether the usual conventions concerning leaving the lid up or down appliles in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. I know that "lid up" or "lid down" might as well be "lid sideways" aboard the International Space Station, where a malfunctioning commode was rumored to be the next stop on Larry Craig's campaign for the Republican Vice-Presidential nomination.

So many things to keep track of.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | June 7, 2008 10:29 PM

Now a naked man in a toilet who had had a bout of traveler's complaint makes sense. Poor fellow, locked in an no way to wash his unmentionable.

Um, why was he naked? Did someone explain to him that he's just supposed to pull his pants down and it doesn't require the Full Monty?

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | June 8, 2008 10:18 AM

Bil, you have to get your unmentionables off to wash them out and that requires the full monty.

Not all the bathroom news is bad or weird ... I hear that they finally did fix the toilet on the International Space Station. The Russian fixed it --- a perfect job for an immigrant, I guess, since it was one of those jobs that all the available American workers refused to do.

... and I still wonder what they did with all those Glad bags that they filled up in the meantime ... are they floating around out there in orbit somewhere? ... will the satellite my cell phone uses malfunction when it hits a bag that's literally full of astronaut crap? ... the media does such a flaky job covering details like that, but curious minds want to know!