Alex Blaze

Introducing FRC's magical pansexual non-threatening spokesthing, Pit-Pat!

Filed By Alex Blaze | July 18, 2008 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, Media, Politics
Tags: ballot initiatives, California, constitutional amendment, Family Research Council, Gumby, image, marketing, marriage, Mr. Show, PIt-Pat

I just got the image on the right in my inbox, pitpat.JPGtaken from the Family Research Council's website. Apparently it's the new graphic they'll tack on to their news items from California regarding marriage.

It looked kind of familiar to me, so I hit YouTube and found out that it's pretty much, indeed, Pit-Pat of Mr.Show fame. NSFW video clip is after the jump.

The joke about Pit-Pat was that it was meant to be the most non-threatening advertising ploy ever devised, because it was of no color or gender and round and magical, while the advertisements themselves were meant to be the most shocking things ever said on TV, all in order to re-image a horrible corporation. And considering the text next to FRC's Pit-Pat, I guess they decided that a gray, pansexual, non-threatening spokesthing was the best way to sell their agenda. That's after the jump too.

From Mr. Show:

iPhone users: Click to watch

The text that goes along with it is just precious:

Local business owners-turned family advocates are doing all they can to ensure the honeymoon with counterfeit marriage is short-lived-and homosexual activists are attacking their right to speak out. Doug Manchester, a devout Catholic who donated to the ballot initiative, is the new target of Californians Against Hate. In a fundraising letter, Hate head Fred Karger called for a boycott of Manchester 's Grand Hyatt and Grand Del Mar hotels. Robert Hoehn's gift to preserve marriage not only landed his Carlsbad car dealership on the boycott list but drew protests at his lots. We applaud these men for refusing to be intimidated and encourage Californians not to back down in the face of those who refuse to accept democratic rule.

So donating to a political cause is free speech and participating in the democratic process, but not supporting those businesses isn't? Does that even come close to making sense?

Gumby_pokey.JPGIt doesn't, but I think it's a sign of a much larger narrative: they're losing, they know it, and they're getting desperate. Process arguments and appeals to democracy are generally made by people who know they're outside of the center or mainstream on a position. They're asking us not to consider the substance of those donations and just look to the fact that they're participating in the democratic process. The amount of ground conceded in that turn shows that they know exactly where their movement is headed.

Do they want that Gray Gumby to be what people think of when they think of the amendment? They've noticed that cute, friendly, lovable are three things they're not, and it's a desperate attempt to remain relevant from a movement that's out of ideas on how to sell itself.

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Actually, grey IS a color. But what real human wants to be grey? Grey is the color that you turn when you're going into medical shock and headed for death.

And Mr. Pit-Pat's body-frame and stance looks suspiciously masculine to me. But that's not surprising, since the FRC (and their Bible religion) is weighted in favor of masculine as well.

Homosexuality is generated by a demon spirit of lust. Supporting it's agenda is supporting satanic sway, much like Hitler rose to power through the ocult. We will start protests backed by the power of God against these wayward people who are blinded by their lusts. Satan will never conscent to staying in a closet. We have power over him and will use it mightly.

Great description, Alex. Before I went to the jump and saw the photo, I was already getting ready to make a Gumby joke. They sure do make "traditional marriage" look enticing and inviting!

But I'm here to tell you that the Culture War is over. I just watched Paula's Party on the Food Network, hosted by the quintessential Southern mama Paula Deen (whose just a hoot). Her audience is clearly the NASCAR set, and that's the kind of food she cooks.

Her guest tonight was CARSON KRESSLEY! She asked him to pick a guy out of the audience, she did double entrendre patter with him, talked about Queer Eye, and generally fawned over him.

If the ultimate middle-America people-pleaser is even having him on her show, much less engaging in gay repartee with him, someone should call Pat Buchanan and tell him to pack it in.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | July 19, 2008 1:55 AM

Where are the tele tubbies? They are colorful and Falwell's church hates them.

I thought the little guy was, well, a guy. He doesn't have a womanly waste and is that a small bulge or a dimple?

Gray is a good color to describe the religious right though - even though they seem to see thing in black and white only!

Fruit Loop | July 19, 2008 5:46 PM

Don't you mean asexual, not pansexual?

haha, no i mean pansexual... it's a reference to a line in the vid.