Ricci Levy

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

Filed By Ricci Levy | July 20, 2008 4:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Media
Tags: media, prejudice, press

...but it also doesn't necessarily mean they are.

It's not always about the fact that we're gay or lesbian, into bdsm, too fat or too thin, heterosexual, gender neutral, gender queer, two-spirit, transgendered, a cross-dresser, a person of color, etc., etc.

I know someone who is x. They are rude, angry, miserable and aggressive in their insistence that no one likes them because they are x. It is this person's firm belief - their absolute 100% insistence too - that no one wants to be with them, listen to them, act on whatever they want done, not because of them as a person but, rather, because they are x.

I think that there is often a fine-line we have to walk when we cry "foul" over behavior or media coverage (or lack thereof). Sometimes we're simply not a likable person. Sometimes our behavior makes us someone others might want to avoid. Sometimes someone doesn't want to be with us not because we're x, y or z but, rather, because they simply don't like us.

Sometimes the media doesn't cover something that is critically important to us personally in just the way we might want. It's not always because it's an "X" issue. Sometimes it's just because the person covering the story isn't really interested in it, or is a lousy journalist, or really can't write any better than they did.

Sometimes it isn't that a candidate doesn't care about us or our votes. Someone running for office, any office, wants all the votes they can get. Sometimes it's not even that they don't care about our issues. Sometimes it's just a lack of adequate knowledge and an opportunity for us to help them learn more about "us" (x,y or z).

All of that said, sometimes it is about those issues. And sometimes we do have to stand up and shout out about it. But sometimes I think we should step back just a drop and check our reactions and the reality of what's going on in a given situation.

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Very sound advice. Perspective can be a difficult thing to have when something is personally important.

Erin Crosland | July 20, 2008 9:21 PM

Too true. I believe I often suffer from "ideas of reference," where every look, comment, or bit of obnoxiousness happening around me seems to be directed at me, due to my being trans. I realize that it is sometimes the case that these things are meant for me, but also that they often are not, or at least not because I'm trans. Even while I realize this is so, however, it can sometimes be hard to sort out the trannyhate from all the rest, to the point where I have sometimes interpreted the sound of a person exhaling when they walk by me as a "dismissive noise," if you know what I mean. But I think I'm getting better about it all, and this is a good reminder.

"You Like Me".. You really like me!!!!!!!


Great post, Ricci. It's so easy to lose perspective.