Instead of actually writing a column this week, Maureen Dowd just pulled some marriage advice from a priest. Talk about phoning it in.
Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J., has spent his celibate life -- including nine years as a missionary in India -- mulling connubial bliss. His decades of marriage counseling led him to distill some "mostly common sense" advice about how to dodge mates who would maul your happiness.
She reprints his advice that makes a lot of sense (make sure you know the guy's friends, make sure he's honest, his problems aren't going to be solved by marrying him. He finishes her column with this:
"After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: 'But you've eliminated everyone!' Life is unfair."
Indeed, I guess if you're looking for someone to fulfill all the ideals he has lain out, no one actually will. My mother used to tell me that if we all thought about every decision when it comes to love and sex, the human race would have died out a long time ago.
What I do find interesting is being told to look for the most ideal partner by two people who, if they followed all the rules of their religion (Dowd is Catholic and has never married), have never had sex nor have ever been married. The fact that both are rather cynical about people's prospects in love might just be what Dowd needs to tell herself every night if she does feel any shame about her current marital status and the constant criticism she lobs at married political couples like the Clintons.
It's a weird way for her to use a column in the biggest newspaper in the country, but I guess that's what she wanted to do. And all it does is let us know that there are people out there, who most likely living in sin, who love to judge others because it makes them feel good.
Oh, well. As Kimya Dawson says, "If I spend my time practicing, then when will I preach?"