Annette Gross

Ridiculous Assumptions

Filed By Annette Gross | July 20, 2008 10:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Living

Whenever a child comes out to their parents, the parents most always wonder "what did I do to cause this?" Even the most liberal and educated parents will have this reaction.

Some of the Peanuts gang

Image via Wikipedia

So today I thought I'd make a list of some of the reasons that my son could be gay. None of them are scientific, but who knows? There's nature vs. nurture. I wonder how much of the nurturing plays a part.

To start with, I've been re-doing my son's photo albums. I came across some photos of his first birthday party. Lo and behold, it a Peanuts theme, and the paper tablecloth had a row of rainbow-colored lines running down it. Could this have been the beginning?

When my son was 13 months old, we moved to Orlando - the land of Mickey Mouse! He was enthralled with the characters and even had a Mickey Mouse hat with ears. We loved the bright colors, so I found a rainbow pair of suspenders for him. I even found a pair for myself, with a rainbow pair of earrings. We used to wear them together. I wonder if those suspenders leaked their rainbow colors into his bloodstream?

As you can see, the reasons that some parents attribute to their child's same-sex attractions certainly can run to the ridiculous. Yesterday I was talking to someone and the subject was trans kids. She thought that being trans was a birth defect. It took me some while to convince her otherwise.

As I said, when kids come out their parents go through somewhat of a grief period. Then the crazy assumptions begin and they can think of the wildest things. It can range from "I cuddled him too much" to "he wore rainbow suspenders when he was a toddler." We must not allow these thoughts to take over. Rational science says that sexuality is inborn and we are what we are. I know I started this story tongue-in-cheek, but the reality is that we need to gather the correct information about our kids' sexuality. PFLAG chapters usually have libraries, and here in Indianapolis books can be found at OutWord Bound bookstore. Please parents, don't let your imaginations run wild. It will not do you or your GLBT kid any good.

By the way, you can still find me wearing my rainbow earrings at Pride events!

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Why do parents always think they've done something wrong? I prefer to think they've done something right!

Bil, when being gay is no longer thought of in a negative way, that's when parents (hopefully) will realize they did nothing wrong. They will realize they did nothing at all, actually. They will just accept their wonderful GLBT child for who he or she is and be happy!

Bil, when being GLBT is no longer seen in a negative light, that's when parents will realize they did nothing wrong. They will be happy that their child is who he or she is and has the ability to express themselves in an open society.

Don Sherfick Don Sherfick | July 21, 2008 5:32 PM

Other possibilitys for you to consider, Annette:

When your son was young you suddenly had to leave before the end of the John Wayne movie that you had taken him to, depriving him of the recommended minimum dosage of cinematic testosterone not-so-subliminally featured therein. The fact that you took extra steps to expose him to both the Tin Man and Lion (Scarecrow doesn't count) in multiple screenings of "Oz" did nothing to remedy that deficiency.

Don Sherfick Don Sherfick | July 21, 2008 5:40 PM

"Other possibilitys [sp]" should have been singular, but due to my own hormonal imbalance when drafting comments (due undoubtedly to having slept during "War and Peace" during my 1950s high school years, only one was presented above.

My time horizon envisions sharing the rest of them within 16 months, depending of course on conditions on the ground.