Sara Whitman

Have You Ever Been Mortified?

Filed By Sara Whitman | October 26, 2008 5:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: charity auctions, embarassing moments, HRC gala dinner

And had to keep the good face going?

I was mortified last night. I shouldn't even write about this but... I can't help myself. It's too funny.

Tonight I was invited to an HRC event. Big fundraiser in Boston. I've been to a bunch of events- lousy food, lots of people, no big deal. Not tonight. I had a problem.

Jeanine and I met with some folks before the event in the bar and had a cocktail. The ice melting like mad, but I don't notice, I'm engrossed in conversation. I usually hold my glass... well... in my lap.

I stand up after the hour and oh my god. I had an enormous wet spot - where? My crotch. Great. I'm so embarrassed I can't see straight. I go to the ladies room- I'll take the pants off and blow dry them with the hand dryers.

ONLY THERE ARE NO HAND DRIERS. Just useless paper towels.

I'm mortified. I can't dry the enormous wet stain my cocktail glass has created. I look like I wet my pants. Or my water broke.

Ooops, I'm pregnant. must have sat on a bad toilet seat. my mother warned me... me and Sarah Palin. Or one of the Palin's.

I pace. I panic. I finally go out to Jeanine- she's alone- oh my god. I have to leave.

It's fine, she says.


No, really, it's fine.

We go upstairs.

I have an enormous wet spot and then I see Walter and Allan.

I didn't know it was black tie event. Allan, of course, is in a suit. Walter? black jeans and a shirt.


Fuck fuck fuck. I set them up. I didn't know but I should have.


I'm sitting there with my jacket buttoned- did I mention I've had my period for about three thousand weeks in a row and hot flashes and the idea of a jacket is beyond me let alone buttoned.

But there I am with a GIANT WET SPOT- now drying- and I have to have my jacket buttoned. Hot flashes. Get me a cocktail, sweet jesus. Did I mention this is for HRC?

Finally, Walter, Jeanine, Allan and I circle. We all ridicule Jeanine's decision to bid on the most god awful ugly lamps. Fair play- Jeanine then points out my need for Depends. We ponder an instant auction item of Depends.

My pants are nearly dry by now. I still want to die.

I hate these events. But if I seemed exceptionally off? MY FUCKING PANTS WERE WET. I should have listened when my mother tried to teach me how to sit like a lady.

And I ended up with the ugliest lamps in the history of man. Oh, don't worry. When we get them? I'll upload some pictures.

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Sara, Sara, try to attend a HRC event,.. those transphobic, non-inclusive, conserva-queer, log cabin supporting HRCers and the Goddess sends you a clear message. You should be embarrassed........She just made it clear in a fashion that was absolutely direct.

Cathryn couldn't help herself from hijacking the post with the usual anti-HRC rhetoric; that's new!

Anyways, cheesy mantras aside, was the event at a dimly lit place? Most people don't even care to look at people's lower body parts. Perhaps sitting the whole even would've helped cover it?

Lesson learned? bring a small blow-dryer to these events ;D!

You know what?.......screw the HRC, tonight I am celebrating a day I never thought I'd live to see. Today, thanks to a study just released from Australia linking classic transsexuality to genetics I have absolute full civil rights in America under the ADA. I wrote a guest blog entry that Bil has under consideration right now about this.......but tonight the HRC can go to hell for all I care. ENDA no longer is an issue for me.

I plan to get good and drunk for the first time in decades.

Trust me, I'm equally happy for this development. No more hijacking of posts from you, at least~

At the risk of being accused of hijacking the thread (my analysis of HRC is well-known, so I see no need to repeat it here), I am curious so I'll ask: Why did you go in the first place?

Probably for the same reason I would. To see what's going on, keep up to date, network, and keep your ear to the ground. While it's good to protest too, you also have to know what's up and you'll never hear that when you're shouting. :)

I went because a good friend invited me to his table. I went because as a board member of Mass Equality, it is my job to network with other people doing work.

And I went because I believe that HRC is not a one trick pony that only does Trans issues and nothing else. Did you know they are piloting a welcoming schools program for kindergarten/first grade kids with two moms that show up day one? or two dads? That's my core, my heart. I ham a lesbian mom.

Did I ask hard questions about ENDA? yes. Were the folks from the Mass. Transgender Political Coalition sitting in the room, too? Yes.

and besides, this post is about being mortified I looked like I wet my pants. It's all about Me memememememememmeeeeeeeee.


Full disclaimer- I support HRC. I dont' always agree but I would never want HRC to disappear. That doesn't mean the organization is always right. it means that the organization needs to exist.

and besides, this post is about being mortified I looked like I wet my pants. It's all about Me memememememememmeeeeeeeee.

Agreed. This has become a bit of thread-jacking...

Full disclaimer- I support HRC. I dont' always agree but I would never want HRC to disappear. That doesn't mean the organization is always right. it means that the organization needs to exist.

Also agreed. I know how much you've criticized HRC over ENDA, but I also know we have to work together for the good of the community.

"I believe that HRC is not a one trick pony that only does Trans issues and nothing else."

So much for being civil. Considering your lead-in was a reference to "lousy food," I thought it as a rather apolitical question.

If anything the criticism of HRC is indeed *not* that it is a "one trick pony that only does Trans issues and nothing else." The criticism is that it is a pony that does every other conceivable trick *except* legitimate ones related to trans issues - and then lies about it.

And if there was no shouting from the disaffected, HRC wouldn't even do that.

Tammi Dee voytek | October 27, 2008 10:38 AM

Going to an HRC function is like going to a GOP fundraiser. Why would you like to associate with these Bigots????

I'm sorry you were so embarrassed. I admire your self-deprecating good humour in telling us about it.

As regards the HRC... best I not say anything. It's not just what happened last year, it's what will happen next, and so on. There's a history there.

Ah spit, I said something. Never mind.

You are guilty of hijacking! To the volcano!

I plead guilty and throw myself on the mercy of the court.

And meanwhile, I'm typing this from my office at the Australian National University, and will see what I can find out first-hand about the recent developments in TS and genetics.

Now THAT is a thread-hijacking....

Oops I did it again.

Ugly lamp, you say? Is it uglier than this one?

Sorry about the wet pants issue - I've been there, but never with a roomful of people where you are expected to stay. But at least you got a lamp out of the deal.

I am intrigued about one thing: you said you intended to take your pants off in the ladies room in order to dry them. I've done the dryer thing myself, but can't imagine that it would be acceptable to take off my pants in the guy's room (not in public, anyway). Is this one of those differences in male/female restroom standards of behavior?

Ayup.........women tend to not freak out about exposing themselves to other women while a man, encountering another man with his pants off in the men's room is likely to go all homophobic.

I love a good threadjack! But I'm not going to participate in this one.

Wet spot in the crotch... I think I've been guilty of worse. The "showing up to a formal event in jeans but not because I'm a rebel but because I just didn't know" sounds a lot more like me.

I definitely feel for you Sara. I have had similiar moments occur, and can really empathise with the feeling of utter mortification at suddenly finding yourself looking like a poster child for adult diapers.

HRC? Locally, the group is a great asset to the LGBT community in general. In many places they do include the "T" with no problems, it is just some on the national level that don't 'get' it. I feel that once Solomenese is out then we can get to work on passing an inclusive ENDA.

Okay Brandi - we can take a hint. You don't like HRC.

Now take one from several of the other contributors and two of the editors - stop hijacking the thread.