Alex Blaze

No queers allowed at straight bars and blushing brides at gay bars

Filed By Alex Blaze | April 20, 2009 1:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: bachelorette parties, bisexual, Chicago, gay bars, illinois, lesbian, LGBT, men, peoria, sign, straight, straight bar, women

Remember peoriasign.jpgwhen everything was so much simpler and people just assumed that we were violent perverts and left us alone? Well, not anymore.

A few weeks ago the Chicago Tribune ran an interesting story about how lots of gay bars were refusing bachelorette parties. One put this sign up outside:

Until same-sex marriage is legal everywhere and same-sex couples are allowed the rights as every heterosexual couple worldwide, we simply do not think it's fair or just for a female bride-to-be to celebrate her upcoming nuptials here at Cocktail. We are entitled to an opinion, this is ours.

In another story, a former gay bar in Peoria put up the sign to the right because they're tired of people not getting a clue that queers aren't allowed (a woman recently put her hand on her girlfriend's leg and was told to cut it out).

What do you all think? Can we all get along? What borders do we need to set up? When is it OK to exclude behaviors, classes of people, individual people, or events?

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We have been SILENT in front of our HET friends and peers for far too long. We need to REMIND them daily about the inequities we face, otherwise we let them off the hook.

As a white man, I would be horrified if I were able to walk through the "Marriage Door" while my African-American friends were denied entrance. I would be ANGRY, and a bit guilty for having this access when others are blatantly denied.


And what is the faux-inspirational melodrama accomplishing in some obscure blog that mainly gay people read, John?

I'm fine with exclusion. At least gay people will know what crowd frequents that bar. The gay community is free to spread the word about the prejudicial policy, and form boycotts as well. It also prevents mixing that will probably lead to gay bashing even if the bar adheres to policy, since the imbecilic straights will just wait for the gay individuals to get out, so they can follow them and harass them.

I'm personally interested as to why the previous gay bar owners sold the establishment to such homophobes.

I tend to agree with your "free market" approach, Lucrece. They're entitled to put up the sign saying it's not a gay bar. The gay community is also free to take a picture of the sign, talk about it online in blogs, chats and forum postings, write about it in LGBT newspapers, organize boycotts, whatever. They're not saying we're not welcome - they're saying what type of clientele they seek.

Since the karaoke bar used to be a gay bar, the sign makes sense. Public accommodation laws not withstanding, I'm happy to know what's what.

I've never been a fan of busloads of straight people in gay bars. I don't do the bar thing anymore, so it is pretty much a moot point with me.

"And what is the faux-inspirational melodrama accomplishing in some obscure blog that mainly gay people read, John?" -

Not sure, but WOW, do YOU sound cranky!

I'm channeling you, babe~

But does Lucrece have any idea WHERE my anger comes from? Having a successful career and then ending up on total disability and losing one's life's work/career [i.e. - everything I own] SPECIFICALLY due to legal inequity can make a "babe" pretty freakin' angry, esp. when I'm stuck at home 24/7.

(MY GOD - Queers will NEVER gain Equality since we're such a hateful group TOWARDS EACH OTHER.)

I love the first sign: "outlawing" bachelorette parties until gays are allowed the same rights as those bachelorettes. Seems like fair peaceful protest to me!

(PS: for what it's worth, when my husband and I went to get our marriage license, I asked the clerk if civil unions required licenses, you know, since they're "the same" as marriage. He seemed very confused, and rather uncomfortable. Probably because I kept talking about it. And he had no clue how to address it.)

Go to sleep, babe; I'm just pulling your leg ;).

Lucrece, while it may be "fun" to write clever-snarky-bitchy comments about other people's experiences and pain, perhaps you should leave my leg alone, esp. since I never touched your leg.

We Need to Work Together

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 21, 2009 3:13 AM

Since I am probably the only person reading this who has been to Pyorrhea many times over two decades (department store buying office) I can assure you that it is beneficial to clearly state who is welcome where.

This is a town that builds earth movers. It is also an old river town with a ton of Southern "Bubba" attitude. Indianapolis is chic, sophisticated, urbane and elegant in comparison to Peoria. It is a great town to visit if you prefer to read a book.

Lynn David Lynn David | April 21, 2009 3:15 AM

We once had a semi-gay bar here before I moved back to Indiana.... I hear the lesbians screwed that up too. But more seriously though, there may be places which we just shouldn't think about populating. Like when I was in the closet out in Oklahoma and the guys at work kept after me to go to a strip club. Really there are places a gay guy shouldn't even think about going.

But we had a waitress who kept changing her outfit because she was going to be in a contest at a 'kicker bar' later with her boyfriend. The guys were all gah-gah after this outfit that was a garter-belt, g-string and smallish push-up bra but I told her to wear the sleaker, smoother teddy because it complimented her form and was more demure and sorta 'come-hither.' One of the guys later told me she wore teddy and won.... so, see... even a queer-eye in a straight bar can have some efficacy.

The bar in Peoria went too far, it's not like they were overusing a back room or anything.... but bachelorette parties in gay bars... something about that makes me feel ikky... about like while I was at that strip club.