My head is spinning. After the long wait, the decision on Prop 8 has come. It was something my husband and I were watching very closely, since we are 1 of the 18,000 couples married in California while it was still legal. We have been in an odd state of limbo since Prop 8 passed, having to watch as other people decided if our marriage should legally continue or not.
We now know that we are still married, but yet we still exist in a state of limbo. We are married, but part of a small, different group- still separate and because of that, not equal.
We are now collectors items: Limited Edition Married Gays.
No part of me is happy about this outcome. It is not the "mixed bag" that the news reports are selling it as. My marriage has been quarantined so as not to spread to the general population. We are the swine flu of marriages in California.
That doesn't feel like much of a victory.
How is my relationship somehow worthy of the term "marriage", but someone else's isn't? How is this system of marriage laws with an asterisk, this bigotry with an exemption clause, allowed? The marriage certificate we proudly have framed in our home now seems hollow, like an antique or oddity that no longer holds the same power it once did.
Surviving Proposition 8 does not feel good. Having the law say "you are married, but if we could, we would take it away from you" doesn't make you feel equal. I don't feel like anything other than something that slipped through the cracks.
So come one, come all- come see equality with an caveat, recognition with a sneer. Come see the rarest of creatures in California: a Limited Edition Married* Gay.
(h/t to my twitter friends for the "Limited Edition Married Gays" label)