Kate Clinton

My Report Card

Filed By Kate Clinton | May 03, 2009 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: Barack Obama, first 100 days, John McCain, Kate Clinton

In the spirit of self-criticism, I share with you my assessment of my own First 100 Days of Obama.

First, you know the MSM* is in a heap of trouble when they have to hype Barack Obama's first one hundred days in office as if it were a new national, international, and intergalactic holiday. Wolf Blitzer re-assembled the BPTOT* pantloads. John King stroked his board. Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin talked some shit with Jon Stewart. Despite the party-poopooing, Gathering Storm meteorologists at FOX, the 100 Days celebration might still fire up the civic imagination. I see in the future special costumes, greeting/report cards, gifts, firework displays, parades, and special foods. Ixnay on the orkpay.

Ironically, midst all the news of the Swine Flu, came the news bomb that Republican Senator Arlen Specter was switching to the Democratic side. The news threw a wrench in some of the MSM's planned coverage. They had an obituary in the can for Arlen, but not a switchuary. While I applaud the new tradition of giving a Republican-turned-Democrat as a 100-Day gift, I will never forgive the senator from Pennsylvania for his questioning of Anita Hill. He remains Sen. Arlen Sphincter to me.

Otherwise, on my own personal F100DoO* Report Card, under the "Effort" column, I have given myself a strong B. For the last three months I have tried to adopt the Obama Way into my daily life. I'm trying to be hopeful. I listen carefully to my friends for signs of work worry or money distress. I tried to get my building to donate food to the local food pantry. I did not leave a nasty note for the tenant who donated a dusty, bloated can of mandarin orange sections.

Good thing Barack Obama is so calm. He can't seem to catch a break: the wars, the economy, swine flu and now a Supreme Court nomination fight. And that right there is another remnant of the Bushthink I'm working to root out. Hey, it's an eight year old habit; it's a slow recovery. Bush always seemed put out by governing. It so interrupted his daily two-hour workouts. Obama seems to welcome challenge.

I am making progress. Sometimes awful-izing is now actually my second thought, i.e. "Those bastard banksters are at it again." When I think Obama is trying to do too much, I chide myself for sounding like the rest of the tired old white coots of my generation. They're just jealous. After Meghan McCain told Dick Cheney to put a sock in it, I had two nice thoughts about John McCain. I have stopped watching TV news, except for Rachel Maddow, duh, so I can spend more time on my homework.

While I've made progress, under the "Areas for Improvement" I've got three personal goals for next semester:

Torture is torture. I recommit myself to vaccinating with truth every chickenshit avian flu sufferer who describes torture as "a mistake".

War is war. I recommit myself to speaking loudly for pacifism. I want the troops out of Iraq and brought directly home with no stopovers in the historic quagmire that is Afghanistan.

Hetero-supremacy is hetero-supremacy. I recommit myself to challenging hetero-supremacist, bibliocratic, don't-ask-don't-tell denial of life.

With my 100-day chip securely in my jeans pocket, I'm off to the next 100 days. The Obama Way is not Pass/Fail. Change happens one day at a time. But who's counting?

*Glossary for Twitterers:
MSM - mainstream media, also men who have sex with men
BPTOT - Best Political Team on Television, CNN
F100DoO - First One Hundred Days of Obama

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