Waymon Hudson

My "Non-Traditional" Family: Blogging for LGBT Families

Filed By Waymon Hudson | June 01, 2009 6:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality, The Movement
Tags: blogging for LGBT families, chosen family, non-traditional, relationships

I often tire of the labels that those against LGBT people put on our families. They say they fight for "traditional marriage" and preserving "traditional families", T304195A.jpgas if there is such a thing. Their close-mindedness extends beyond just our community and hits any family that doesn't have some idyllic 1950's "Leave it to Beaver" scenario with mom, pop, kids, and a picket fence.

Whether it be our loving LGBT relationships, our chosen family of friends and support network, children raised by someone other than their biological parents, or single parent homes, we all get stuck with the same label by the fundamentalist crowd:

"Non-Traditional Family."

As someone who grew up with what they would view as the perfect scenario for a family- 2 parents for the three kids- I can say I much prefer the stability and love of the family I have built now.

CIMG1184.JPGAs much as I dislike labels, I often refer to the circle of love and support as my chosen family. It includes not only my husband and our son, but also our close friends, extended family, and others. As they say, "It takes a village"- and we have built our little tribe up to withstand just about anything life could throw at us.

I sometimes wonder how people can put their lives and families into such a little, constricting definition. By expanding my view of what family is beyond just what I was raised with, I have gained strength, support, and joy. In fact, when I started to deal with some of the difficulties part of my "traditional" family caused me, it was my real, chosen family that got me through it.

kiss.JPGThat's why I think that our greatest strength as a community are our families, however you choose to personally define it (or rather, not define it all). We show others that even through discrimination, adversity, and not being recognized in the eyes of the law, we thrive.

There's an old saying that "you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family." Thankfully, our community is leading the way in breaking that stereotype. We know that family isn't in the genes, it's in the love you surround yourself with.

For more "Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009" blogs, visit Mombian.com

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Omigosh, this is so true waymon.

The family Life has given and continues to give me is far more supportive, understanding, caring, fun to be with and REAL than my birth family.

The hell with "redefining marriage"; it's the redefining of FAMILY that these asshats hate.

diddlygrl | June 1, 2009 8:57 PM

I am with you on this brother. My father was a verbally abusive, close-minded bigot and my mother was his enabler because she was emotionally cold and distant. Almost the only time I saw any of my family hug was when someone died. The only reason my father didn't beat us was he was afraid we would grow up and get bigger than him, then kick his ass if he did.

I don't really have much of a real family now, but of what family I do have, the best are of no blood relations to me, well except for my niece, and I still don't know how she turned out so great with my brother as her father.

It's so true. You are a very smart man and may I ad an inspiration to young gay people like myself.

Well, put, Waymon! And you and Anthony are just the cutest.

Thanks for participating in Blogging for LGBT Families Day!

Amen, Waymon. I hardly speak to my "real" family - the chosen family is 1000x more what I need.

Rick Sours | June 3, 2009 1:39 PM

My Partner John and I were the victims of raw hate
and harassment and forced to move. We tried to
deal with the situation by legal means. When we
got to court the Judge would not allow any of our
Sheriff's reports as evidence. The bigots lied under oath in court. They won over the Judge by repeating saying it was a good family community and we did not belong. We suggested that since we were Gay we were a threat to children. My Partner and I are a

Where in the world did this happen, Rick? that's terrible!

Rick Sours | June 3, 2009 4:15 PM

correction They suggested