Sara Whitman

Boys are to dogs as socks are to...

Filed By Sara Whitman | July 27, 2009 2:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Living
Tags: boys vs girls, fart jokes, raising boys, raising girls

My charming son Zachary came in this morning, sat in my office and let rip an enormous fart.

Raising boys can be so... charming sometimes. They get mad when I say boys are like having dogs- but I mean it in a good way. Dogs are loyal- my beanie girl is currently sitting at my feet, as always. Boys are loyal too- I mean, not any more or less than girls but I'm trying to say something nice here.

Mind you, I just had my office bombed.

3019776218_9cfddfea31.jpg / CC BY 2.0

I can remember when the kids were young, and my friend, the martha stewart of parenting, would call and say, yes, the girls are in the house coloring...

it would be a day where it was snowing/raining/hailing/hurricane- you decide. My boys would no more sit down to a day of arts and crafts than fly to the moon. Well, they wanted to fly to the moon, that was the problem.

I'd be getting my kids into whatever gear needed- snowsuits, rain boots, protective goggles- to take them outside. See, like dogs, they needed to go out, no matter what.

I was always jealous of my friend. Her girls were so low key. It's not any different today. My kids still need to be run daily. Loafing around all day leads to major fights at night because their energy levels haven't been tapped all day. And we've moved into some special behavior- farting for instance- which hold appeal I believe until they reach their 40's.

Right now, I'm looking out in my front hall and there are shoes, and flip flops, and dirty socks, and an old Halloween costume on the floor. I'll never have a clean house. Ever again.

Dogs, I tell you, are a lot tidier. Sure, they shed but they don't wear socks.

Oh, I know. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. And like my dog, they will end up well trained.

You can bet on that.

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Coming from a household that ran high on male offspring I can sympathize. However, my mother always claimed that boys were easier than girls. As a survivor of a teenage daughter, trust me, dirty socks and all you got a better deal.

OK, you have one little boy to deal with. I was in the navy trapped on a frigate with like 135 'little boys' that loved to drop trou, stick thier pooters' in the door, RIPPPP one, slam the door and dog it shut.... resulting in an airtight space that had just been filled with some of the fowlest smells ever!
Count your self lucky that its one small boy and you can open a window or walk out of the house and breathe.

tobyhannabill | July 28, 2009 2:39 AM

I was born and raised in The Bronx, New York City. We lived in my grand-mothers three family house. My fathers 14 brothers and sisters and their kids lived near by as well as my mothers 7 brothers and sisters ans their kids. I have smelled things that have made me cry. I now live in a little two bedroom house in Northeastern Pennsylvania with my chihuahua, Duke, alone. He sleeps with me and on the rare occassion he farts it smells like roses.

I am currently raising two boys. I am constantly reminded how outnumbered I am. They even at one point informed me that because I am the only girl in the house it would be far more appropriate for me to raise the toilet seat than for them to lower it. Believe me I feel your pain. LOL for all of the headaches what would we do do without them? I wrote about my frustrations in this post.

My brother used to fart in my face and run away so that i would chase him. lol. By the way, this toilet seat debacle must come to a level of understanding. Some people are raised to always leave it up because it is just plain easier to put it down when needed. It is not an inconsideration. Actually quite the opposite. I like to hear your kids have boundless energy. I rarely see bicylcers or running unless it is a formal group of teens on a track team or something. Whatever happened to running through the streets and woods with sticks or bugs man?

A. J. Lopp | July 28, 2009 4:31 PM

Sara, your photo above deserves a Pulitzer. The tones are perfect, and there's something hauntingly classic about it. It reminds me of Wyeth's Christina's World.

not my photo, not sure where bil scarfed it from but I agree, it's beautiful.

three boys, I have three, not one. but I'll take all three boys over one teenage girl ANY DAY.


I absolutely loved this article. I have an 8 year old nephew, and I miss being that young and energetic. My nephew loves it when his "gay uncle" comes around (I know this due to a phone conversation i had with my sister:
Nephew (in the background): Uncle Keith is gay! HAHAHAHA

Sister: Do you even know what gay is?

Nephew: Uh-huh! It means he's attracted to his own KIND!

Sister: OK, well, is that a bad thing?

Nephew: No, he's my favorite.)

And honestly, if my nephew was running around in a Halloween costume, I would probably dress up and play superheroes with him :)