Sara Whitman

Happy Anniversary

Filed By Sara Whitman | November 17, 2009 6:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: Chihuly glass, happy anniversary, lesbian relationships

I know, I know, I know. I've been away for a while. Partly, I needed a break after the loss in Maine. I needed to stop and think about where I am in my life, where I was heading and what the hell I was doing.

And the other part was that last Friday was my 19th anniversary. Yup, 19 years. Yup, on Friday the 13th. All I can say is the 13th was the only day the church was available. No, it's not the "real" anniversary- that would be march 2nd- but after a few years of not knowing when to celebrate, we decided to go with the legal marriage date.

Too confusing. But don't ever say to me I've only been married since 2004 because lemme tell you, every year counts.

I was inspired on very short notice to go and meet Jeanine. She was at a conference in San Francisco and I hated being apart on our day. It felt like 19 years deserved more than a phone call.

I was also inspired by a very very odd coincidence. On Thursday, the eve of our wedding anniversary which, by the way, is also Walter and Allan's as we had a double ceremony that included our vows to be a family, to raise the boys, Walter was walking by an antique shop in Jamaica Plain. He looked in the window and saw two pieces of glass that looked very familiar.

Remember the story about Don't Touch the Chihuly? You'd have to be a long time reader, mind you, but when my mother died, I inherited a great deal of her artwork. One piece was a beautiful piece of glass by Dale Chihuly. So beautiful, and so fragile, I had a cabinet built in my office for it. (Thanks, Donald!) For the first year it was here, you could hear me shouting to the kids, DON'T TOUCH THE CHIHULY! Now, they know better.

Well, it seems that the two pieces of glass Walter was looking at are almost an identical match to the Chihuly I have. He went in, found them marked at a ridiculously low price. He stayed cool, hemmed and hawed, eyed the signature, and negotiated an even lower price. He then put them on hold. He said he'd have to think about it.

What he did was to come to my house, compare the signature, found it identical, along with the series number and... went and bought his very own Chihuly for a price that would have made my mother proud.

Think about it... the eve of our wedding anniversary, and a piece of art that if he didn't know me, if my mother didn't have, he would never have realized was basically beyond an antiques roadshow find. Something about all that made me feel like my mother, who was pretty miserable at the wedding itself all those years ago, was trying to say something.

I heard celebrate.

I also heard that as hard as it's been at times, this crazy four way relationship Jeanine, Walter, Allan and I have, it's worth it. It's worth it because we are family. While my mother was alive, she was cautious about the whole deal but appreciated my belief that this was best for the kids.

As hard as it was for her, at the time, to get over her narcissistic injury that I had not told her about the wedding in a way she needed to hear it, I know she was amazed by the community we had around us.

I know deep down she was proud.

When Walter brought his find over to compare, and we all oooed and ahhhed over it, I knew I needed to do something.

I did.

Don't ask me what we did, because it won't pass the Weezie meter. Just know that I was gone, and gone in a really good way.

Happy anniversary, Jeanine. I still love you as much today as I did all those years ago. And I would marry you again in a heartbeat.

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Happy Anniversary to all four of you! :)