I do so love a uniform. I'm sure it has something to do with deep seated issues with authority but I don't want to delve too deeply in it. I want to be able to smile when I see a woman in a crisp, fancy uniform.
Sometimes, perhaps, we need to not be such deep thinkers.
I spent a lot of time on vacation wondering about what I'm doing with my life. The kids kept teasing me that I have no job, and I am always on vacation. It stung. I thought maybe it would be better if I took a job somewhere, anywhere.
What am I doing with my life? What have I accomplished? Just a blogger, Zachary kept saying over and over. Not really a job, not something to take vacation from...
I sat on the beach and looked out to the waves for some kind of answer. Over and over, they simply crashed to the shore. Then Jake came, jumped on my shoulders and said, C'mon, Mom! Let's ride the waves!
That's it, I finally realized. It's not about having some great, defined answer. Not for me. Jeanine? She's on a track, wants a PhD, has specific goals for herself. I never have.
Except to be a good parent. A good partner and friend.
The goal is not to study from the beach, but to get in there and ride with my kids. Count three heads bobbing back up after a big, crashing twelve foot wave. I don't have all the answers as to why I am the way I am. I don't know that I ever will. But if I spend too much time thinking, I'll never live.
I do want a uniform with my falafel. I love a uniform. And riding big waves.