Don Davis

2nd Amendment Foundation And Black Community Agree To Joint Gun March, Rally

Filed By Don Davis | April 06, 2010 10:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Politics
Tags: comedy, gun control, humorous blog post, Irony, Racism, Satire, Snark

New York (FNS)--In an effort to help dispel concerns of racism, Terri Stocke, President of the Second Amendment March, agreed to coordinate with members of the Reverend Al Sharpton's National Action Network and the Reverend Jesse Jackson's Rainbow/Push Coalition in an effort to encourage more members of the Black community to bear arms and to carry them publicly.

In return, members of the Black community have agreed to flood the 2nd Amendment March, scheduled for April 19, 2010, in Washington, DC, with hundreds of thousands of heavily armed residents of Chicago's South Side and New York City's Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhoods.

"We hope that the Black community understands that 2nd Amendment rights apply to all Americans" Ms. Stocke told the crowd outside Mr. Sharpton's offices.

She went on to tell the crowd: "We have all heard the saying, 'Freedom isn't free'. Of course, that phrase means that the freedoms that we enjoy today are the result of the blood, sweat and tears of our forefathers and mothers who pressed onward in the face of great hardship -- continuing to stand and fight for what they knew to be right -- to create these United States that we call home. Freedom isn't free. It requires the willingness to remain vigilant, to take action, and to make sacrifices when necessary to ensure freedom for our children and our children's children.

"Now is the time to press onward to ensure that the right to keep and bear arms is preserved as intended by our forefathers -- not as interpreted by legislators and lawmakers who enact laws that infringe on your right to protect yourself and your loved ones."

Ms. Stocke and the Revs. Sharpton and Jackson went on to announce their new combined program to ensure that every member of the community that could possibly qualify would be able to obtain and carry guns.

"We have said for some time that if everyone had guns, we'd all be safer" Ms. Stocke intoned to the exultant crowd, "and as of today, we at the 2nd Amendment Foundation will do everything in our power to create an environment where each and every citizen of the Harlem, Bed-Sty and South Side communities are free to carry their weapons at all times, in order to create a safer New York and a safer Chicago."

Ms. Stocke's website,, will also join the effort, by sponsoring the expansion of the National Shooting Sports Foundations "First Shots" program into urban environments.

"By expanding the number of armed citizens in these communities, we can stop the police from acting as tools of an oppressive government, and provide an opportunity for these citizens to regain control over the forces that have been treading on them.

"Eventually we hope to spread this effort to more cities, including, Detroit, Houston, and Oakland."

Father Dick Timoneous, interviewed in the crowd, suggested this would be just the thing the 2nd Amendment March needed: "I can just image the jubilation that will be on the faces of that all-White crowd on April 19th when tens of thousand of Black people, all heavily armed, descend on the march, proving that when everyone is armed, we're all safer."

The event will take place at the northeast corner of the Washington Monument grounds, April 19, 2010, from 10 AM to 4 PM, and everyone is encouraged to attend.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an ironic joke. If It were not a joke, you would be given specific instructions...well, no you wouldn't. But this is a joke. Really.

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I'm ashamed to admit it, but it took me until the after the jump part when I was editing your post before I realized it was satire.


i'll give you the key to recognizing these immediately: the "fns" that appears in the byline stands for "fake news service", a reference to my "fake consultant" brand.

Maybe it is ironic but it isn't funny as a joke (not sober at least).

this is exactly what "the onion" does every day...and i gotta tell ya, using the absurd to expose the absurd is often funny, even if the underlying topic is pretty rough.

and in the end, exposing the hypocrisy behind this movement is the point of this exercise, and i think it does that pretty well.

yeh, i get what you were going for here. it was just bad. i read the onion and it is usually funny.

That's a good point. It'd be hilarious to watch all their explanations get reversed, since white supremacism is really the main reason these people want every white person armed.

you can bet the house, the farm, next week's paycheck, and the brooklyn bridge on the reaction--and you are exactly right, it would not be "thanks for coming, black america, we welocome you with open arms".

Actually, there was an African-American group that spoke a great deal about their second amendment rights; they were called the Black Panthers. They asserted that they had the right to defend their communities against armed tyrants, known as the Oakland Police and the Alameda County Sheriffs Departments.
White America, J. Edgar Hoover, and Richard Nixon were not thrilled, nor would your average Antigummint 'Merican today if armed black men(or women) showed up at a Sarah Palin rally with signs that said "The tree of Liberty needs occasionally to be watered with the blood of tyrants".
I thought it was hilarious.

you are exactly correct, and for those who were not aware of the history here, i would recommend a quick visit to the seattle black panther party history and memory project website.

based solely on the laws of probability, i presume some black person showed up at the event yeaterday, armed and supportive of the tea party point of view...and ya wanna bet that was just a bit awkward for some of the "fellow travellers"?