Bil Browning

Hair Emergency

Filed By Bil Browning | April 09, 2010 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: hair emergency

I'd planned on writing an insightful political piece today - and it's half done. A hair emergency, however, has called me away. I'm so furious, I could spit! My stylist slipped with the clippers this afternoon and before either of us could react, I had a reverse mohawk.

I'm now sporting the "Bruce Willis look" - as in I look a decade older and balder. Jerame said I look like I got in a fight with a weed whacker and lost. I look like hell! *spits*

When I complained about it, one helpful Twitter follower messaged me with, "Maybe someone will believe you're a top now!" In that spirit, I put on my new shirt that makes all my friends laugh each time they see me wear it.

For your giggles and sympathy, I bring you the before and after pictures behind the jump.


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In a few small clips...
I will make you a Maaaaa..han..han...han..han


Looks kinda cute actually :)

I'm laughing now. Not because you look bad, mind you, but because I don't want to laugh when I run into you again. :)

You look so rough and tumble with that cut!

You still will. :) That reminds me, when are we going to grab coffee again? Then you can laugh for a solid minute! (Any longer and I'll get mad! LOL)

Juston Thouron Juston Thouron | April 9, 2010 4:32 PM

I kind of like it, but then I'm biased.

If you look at my thumbnail you'll see that I have the complete un-do, or non-do or no do, whatever. I've been shaving my head since 1990 (before it was a popular alternative for white guys - Yes, it's true, I was among the first) I refused to do the whole horseshoe-ring-around-the-head-thing and decided that if I'm going to be bald I might as well be BALD.

Why not just go all the way? Have you ever shaved your head?

And here I thought I was HairStatus King (or Queen) of Bilerico! :)

I think it looks good!!

On top? Hmmm....No, I guess not. Oh well, you are still cute.

It could have been worse - your hair could be so thick it bust the clippers half-way through. I'm speaking from experience, of course.

Bil, I think you look pretty good. Of coarse, I'm jealous of anyone with hair.

I'm going to echo Joe Mirabella here, lol

You don't need to lie, Sean. I'm not that vain. :)

Hey, who's lying? I happen to think that some men look incredibly hot and jumpable with short hair -- and I would only say that a safe distance from your S/O. :-)

I think you still look cute! :)

Margaretpoa Margaretpoa | April 9, 2010 6:31 PM

You sure look like a friend of mine Bil. You aren't related to any Repshers are you?

You know what? Totally not bad at ALL. I was expecting to be all soothing, but honey, you look migh-tee fine. No giggles, no sympathy. Own it!

Joseph Kowalski | April 9, 2010 8:46 PM

It doesn't look bad at all. In fact, I like it better this way. I agree with the previous commenter...own it.

Sniffle, Sniffle, Cry! At least you have hair! Sniffle, Sniffle, Cry! I have to Buy mine!

It would be a pity to waste that on top. Nice!

Hey, I love the's great for you, handsome! (better than your standard look, in my opinion). Think...good fortune!

Ron Caylor | April 10, 2010 6:44 AM

I like it. You look a lot younger. Short haircuts do that. That is why Bruce Willis, and others, wear theirs short when they are aging or getting bald. As for me, I wear it short since I am aging. Its a personal choice. Whatever floats your boat.


Um… Bil? You look good, but I do understand and sympathize with you on the loss of your locks. You have my heartfelt sympathies. I would be glad to give you some of mine… but I am soooo phobic about being around shears, clippers and even just plain sharp objects….

One of the things I’ve had to deal with growing up was parents who would look at me and say “we need to get your hair cut, you look like a girl with that long hair!”. That was with hair under 2 inches too. Even with the military haircuts I had to deal with while I was in never really hid anything. Now that I’m out and living as much as ‘me’ as possible I still get the same harassment from my family and even some coworkers. Just the other week a coworker was ‘joking’ that when his fellow Army buddy came back from his recall that they would tape me down and cut my hair to Army regs weather I liked it or not.

My beautiful lions mane of hair… *sigh*I didn’t sleep for a week after that. So Bil? I totally do sympathize with you. (hugs) It grows back, it’ll take you about a half inch a month so for you that’s about 3 or 4 months. My hair? Over 24 inches now. I started growing it as soon as I was retired and it’s taken …omg, 5 years to get it this long.

I love my hair. :D

Well, my hair wasn't long and flowing by any means. I've been losing hair for the past couple of years and my widow's peaks are huge now - not to mention the growing bald spot in back.

Since I started using Rogaine for the bald spot, the last time I went to the stylist, she talked me into getting a short haircut so I could apply the RG easier. I agreed and it turned out nice. When I went to NYC, I got lots of compliments on the new do and I really liked it.

I forgot my haircut appointment before going to LA and really wanted to get a trim to get that style back - I liked it that much. Instead, the stylist was booked until yesterday when - happy that I'm getting a cool new look again - I sat in the chair.

I told her I wanted it short again and this is what I got. She was incredibly apologetic and said her original idea for a short cut was the "Bruce Willis look" but because I was worried about the widow's peaks, she'd left it longer than she'd originally planned. This, I guess, was the first "short" cut she'd wanted to give me but knew I'd flip out over.

But it took her until she did the big clipper up the top of my head thing before she remembered that I didn't want it that short.

It really pissed me off though - not really because it's so short (it'll grow back), but because I wanted something else and didn't ask for this. The "your choice didn't matter" subtext is what made me so angry. (And, boy, Howdy, was I pissed. Jerame went to work to escape my ravings and rantings.)

ha, see now I have the opposite problem. When I go get my haircut I have to convince them to cut it short. And then I have to ease their worries about making me look like a boy. If necessary I threaten to go home and give myself a buzz cut with my own clippers (as I used to do). And then I have to console them for making them make me look like a boy.

But I understand 'cause most women would probably stab them with the sheers if they made them look like a boy. I just wish I didn't have to argue about what's on my own head.

The grass is always greener...

Chitown Kev | April 10, 2010 9:39 AM

Oh, Bil, PUH-LEASE, you look just fine.

Says the man who has shaved his head bald for over a decade.

But seriously, you could sport the Bruce Willis.

Who cares about your damn hair, I'm into the t-shirt!

And can we call the look something other than "the Bruce WIllis"... it sounds a leetle toooo Republican.

the_czarina the_czarina | April 10, 2010 1:43 PM

receiving TBP in my box (we've been through this) each day, like almost readers i guess, i saw the short text version before the pic.
i was really worried you'd be looking pretty damn funny; pretty damn terrible.

au contraire!
the medium-young bruce willis indeed!
there are worse looks by far.
i was surprised at how fine you look; after expecting to snort my coffee through my nose,

though, as a str8 woman (ally), i do have to say: you look awfully str8:)

bigolpoofter | April 10, 2010 2:14 PM

Do NOT make me drive to Indy to snap you the hell out of it! Very short hair says "That's my hairline and those are my scars, so what the f&%^ is it to you?" Guarded locks, on the other hand, can be taken as symbols of faded youth.

Like it or not the hair is gone. You have to look at the positives about this or as it may all be for the best. You know, the when life gives you lemons way of thinking about such things. So in that spirit I offer the following.

Your look with the shorter hair is just in time for summer so it will easy to care for and may even seem cooler. You will save a good deal on hair cuts for a few months. I am sure you will use far less shampoo. You will have more time for other things besides drying, styling, and making appointments for hair cuts, but this might be offset somewhat by your search for a new stylist. Besides most guys now days seem to hack the hair off shorter than short so you will be kind of in style now anyway. If all that is not comforting enough, there is always the old joke. "whats the difference between a bad hair cut and a good hair cut? - Two weeks. "

Believe me Bil, if anyone knows the pain of getting sheared it's likely the Tran-women here do. I would dare say most all of us have countless horror stories about having to part with our locks for jobs or due to someone finding it socially unacceptable for us to have longer hair. I offer my sympathy to you on the loss of the locks, and recommend you consider obtaining a stocking cap for those cool evenings for a bit to avoid drafts on the dome.

Tres butch, Bil Boy! Hope you grow to love it so I can kick yer butch ass on the pool tables of Minneapolis in Feb., 2011. Creating change, indeed! love and muah, Sue

It. Looks. Great.
Stirring. Literally.
Keep it.