Ed Team

It's actually Constance's classmates who are the victims

Filed By Ed Team | April 07, 2010 7:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Quote of the Day
Tags: Constance McMillen, lesbian, LGBT, lindsay begley, Mississippi, prom

"**Open Minded Readers Only**

I am a senior at IAHS, and I've known Constance for the last 6 years. Please hear our side of the story before you decide on our fate.?The party we had in Evergreen (the county neighborhood I live in) is 30 mins away from the school. we rented out the community center, hired vendors, decorated, and our parents ran the security/chaperone staff- but it wasn't prom. Prom was at the country club where constance and 7 other students were. The reason the senior class boycotted the actual prom was not because we hate gays.
We wanted a drama-free gathering to celebrate 3 great years and 1 lousy one together, and we wanted to lay low. We also wanted to do it without the main cause of the lousy. What people are failing to realize is that much of the fault of this whole stink lies with Constance, not her mistreatment by the school district, but her crazy-reckless need for attention. It sounds mean and horrible and like we planned it all specifically to embarrass Constance, but we didn't. We let her have her prom with her girlfriend and her tuxedo and we went to party it up in the "boondocks" not because we wanted her rights violated, but so we could salvage what has turned into a total fiasco.

As a whole we didn't support her decision to throw the district under the bus, or her insinuations that we're all just a bunch 'a hicks driving around in beater pick up trucks spitting tobacco and burning crosses. IAHS is one of the top schools in the state and I'm proud of that, and I'm proud that we took a stand and just said you know what? forget it, we have just as much right as you do to have a party for ourselves. So we did, and now we're getting flack because poor Connie's ego got a bit of bruising. She's playing the lesbian card to prove she ALWAYS gets what she wants. This time, we didn't just let her.

Take it as you will, because I'm sure it sounds like we faked her out, but understand this- the decision NOT to attend prom had nothing to do with the school or with Constance's sexual preferences; it had everything to do with proving we weren't going to let her and the ACLU steamroll us into doing what Constance wanted. We flexed the muscle of the majority and we'll suffer the consequences."

--Senior Lindsay Begley, one of Constance's classmates, defending their prom fake-out

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LOL I was going to actually use this today myself,

As for dear, sweet Lindsay:

Horseshit, darling. The reason Constance got that attention was because of you and your friends being fuckwits about the whole thing.

If you'd actually wanted to avoid drama, you'd have all "gone to the Prom", instead of struggling to get your stories straight (you say boycott, others say birthday party) and making up lies to avoid being seen for what you really are:

A bunch of cruel children who are the tools of your parents.

I will agree with something you say. It isn't *your* fault. You are merely the the maggots that live in the shit, waiting to grow up and becomes flies yourselves, while the shit still stinks no matter how much toilet water you throw on it.

You are getting flack because instead of acting like somewhat mature seniors about to go out into the world and go to college or get married or find a job you acted like a bunch of hicks "driving around in beater pick up trucks spitting tobacco and burning crosses."

If you hadn't, you wouldn't be getting the flack that even you seem to feel is richly deserved.

A bunch of folks found poor Lindsey's facebook information and posted it all over, and I combed it, and I found out that I actually really like Lindsey. Lindsey is a typical teenager--getting dragged along not really knowing how to think for herself. However, Lindsey is showing signs of a budding Progressive. She actually had some really clever, smart things to say on her facebook bashing Republicans in really funny ways.

The gears also seem to be turning in Lindsey's head. She clearly felt uncomfortable with what happened, or else she would not have had such a carefully worded response to this FDL post. Scroll down in the comments a bit. Other students at Constance's school also responded without nearly the degree of thoughtfulness of Lindsey's response.

Did she do the right thing? No. But don't forget who planned this event. The parents. We all forget what its like to be teenager sometime. If some of these students felt conflicted about this, having their parents plan a special Prom just for them certainly will do the trick to tipping the scales in favor of going.

But Lindsey is clearly conflicted, and I think that's a good start. Someday Lindsey is going to be among the students who look back and say "We did the wrong thing. We're sorry Constance." Let's hope it happens sooner, rather than later.

Maybe she will. Maybe this is a sign of guilt about the whole situation, or at least shame? I don't know.

High school kids fall easily into the mob mentality. In a few years, the actual homophobes and assholes will be separated from the others who were too afraid to speak up (unlike Constance).

I LOLed.

("I'll take 'failed, sophomoric attempts to justify a bad idea' for $200, Alex.")

ellysabeth | April 7, 2010 11:14 AM

It's OK, we understand. If Constance just hadn't been so pushy about attending prom with her sweetie, none of this would ever have happened. If she hadn't selfishly insisted on being included in what is obviously meant for only good, God-fearing heterosexuals, you guys could've enjoyed a rocking Senior year without dealing with heavy, cumbersome issues like inclusion, discrimination, and the like.

She forced your hand, and it was merely a matter of reaping what she had sewn when you were left with no choice but to flex your majority muscle.

I'm sure the year was better once Juin left, too. No need for everyone to worry about who was peeing where, whether it made you gay if you thought he was cute, etc. Just another person selfishly insisting that people treat him like a human being, as well.

Take it as you will, because I'm sure it sounds like we faked her out, but understand this- the decision NOT to attend prom had nothing to do with the school or with Constance's sexual preferences; it had everything to do with proving we weren't going to let her and the ACLU steamroll us into doing what Constance wanted. We flexed the muscle of the majority and we'll suffer the consequences."

Ah, but honey, all Candace wanted to do was attend prom with her girlfriend. If this really had nothing to do with her sexual orientation, why didn't all you other students just let her?

Brandy Demetroff | April 7, 2010 6:06 PM

I have to [email protected] the "Open minded" people only in the beginning. If you and your class mates were actually open minded the whole thing could have been avoided. You could have had your damn prom but instead your prejudice shines through and you screwed yourselves. How dare you blame her? She's the one being openly discriminated against by you and your classmates. Maybe just OWN it.

Me too. That's why I posted it here; I thought, "TBP readers are open-minded! Intended audience."

Well seeing how there was 7 kids who showed up to the "real prom" we know who all the kids didnt like at that school now dont we.

Eric Payne | April 7, 2010 11:44 PM

And this "non drama" non-prom party was held on the same night, at the same time as prom... because?

It is my sincere desire that this past week, the admissions offices of colleges where the seniors of this high school have been admitted have been re-evaluating the admission of the students to their colleges and/or universities. As I recall, most schools have a "morals" clause in their admission procedures; any student who attended the "non-prom" would be culpable in violating the spirit of a judicial order, if not the letter of the order itself. As such, in my opinion, such admissions officers would be acting responsibily by deferring these students' admissions for a year, if not simply rescinding the offer of admission.

If a person is going to tell a judge, essentially: "Go to hell. I'm doing things my way!" What are they going to tell a college professor and/or Dean?

For that matter, the military has a much more stringent morals code, enshrined into federal law. None of the seniors who attended the non-prom prom should be accepted into military service; they're insubordinants simply waiting for an order they dislike.

It was still a separatist move that your class made and it reads as discrimination no matter which way you would like to twist it. Especially considering the details that two of the other students who attended the country club prom had learning disabilities only leaves further room to suspect that the students who attended the "alternate prom" were in fact engaged in willful deceit.

After all the "drama" that your school suffered through during this process, I am anxious to see how you all handle the amount of drama you are going to continue to face as a result of your actions.

It is a violation of rights in the end. The prom did happen, and a select group of students were left out. That is harsh.

As much as I liked what Eric Payne posted... because that was a great observation/point. I am more disturbed by Antonia D'orsay's comment here, then Lindsay Begley's Letter to "Open Minded Readers Only".

Begley is still a child. A child who lives in a small town in Mississippi. An ignorant child... granted. But I really have hope that once she grows up a bit, that prom isn't the "be all/end all" of a period of one single pin-point of her life. If Prom is the only highlight of her life... the pinnacle of success/fun, and one rogue lezzie actually could ruin it for her and all her classmates... Then that is sad.

High School sucks ass. I wouldn't do it again for a million bucks. Never. I tell my own Philistines [[children]]... "Just do the time. Don't get any permanent prison ink and just get thru it. Once you are paroled... there is a whole new world to live out there. You get out of the joint, what you put into the joint.
OH? And here is some soap on a rope. Don't bend over and always have your back against the wall."

Graduate of Fulsome High. Class of 82.

"High School sucks ass. I wouldn't do it again for a million bucks."

And yet your "rogue lezzie" comment proves that that's EXACTLY where you belong. Maybe you should save that "soap on a rope" for yourself, Skippy.

Aaron... "Skippy"? LOL! "rogue lezzie" was italicized for a reason. Meaning sarcasm. The letter is obviously an attempt for sympathy and did in fact give the innuendo that Constance was a "threat" as a lezzie to their prom. Perhaps my comment was above your reading level?

No, Dieks, maybe your sarcasm just wasn't very well executed. Looked pretty sincere to me.

Aaron... I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess you don't like words like: carpet muncher, twat bandit, box fairy, dyke, lesboid, dyke, bulldyke, diesel dyke, baby dyke, pussy petters, muffdiver... I could go on, but I will spare your delicate sensibilities.

Because if rogue lezzie has you this upset... I can easily imagine that all those terms, must put you into the freaking fetal position crying out for Mama's sugar titt.

Honestly "rogue lezzie" was a COMPLETE compliment to Constance. Luckily she doesn't have your delicate nature.

Oh, give us all a break!! This girl's posting was a sad, pathetic attempt to make herself and her hickwards classmates look like victims.

Look, if you have some kind of crush on her now because you've poked around her Facebook page, that's your business. Go to the mall and chase her around the food court--please, be our guest. But don't pretend that she's some kind of misguided kindergartner, swept up helplessly by circumstances. As a high school senior, she's old enough to know what the hell she and her classmates are doing, and is CERTAINLY old enough to know when her parents are wrong.

Saber... your response is just down creepy.

I stand by what I actually posted/commented. The supposed "adults" w/in the LGBTQRXY&Z comments/posting/blogs about this situation has been less then stellar/mature and just emotional reaction-ism.

My response was actually intended for a previous commenter above who HAD gone to Lindsey's Facebook page, and I clicked the wrong link. My bad.

But while I'm here, it does strike me that an awful lot of people are eager to give this brat the benefit of the doubt because she's "young and ignernt." Believe me, kids today are much more worldly than we might have been at that age--they've been exposed to more media and have more immediate information and communication at their fingertips. Ignorance is not the issue--it IS bigotry.

Either they did this BECAUSE it was a separate party away from the "rogue lezzie," or because it was at a fancy country club on Mommy and Daddy's dime. Either way, it was immature and inhuman--the fact that they excluded the handicapped students is all the proof necessary. I hope the judge fines each and every individual family who participated in this sham and they have to pay out their kids' college money. Then those stupid teenagers can work at fast food joints and hustle like everyone else. They need to learn this lesson before the outside world delivers them a well-deserved ass-kicking.

Saber all good. No problem. :)

And I have to tell you that I agree w/a lot of what you just stated. In my original comment my first sentence was that I agreed w/another comment made here in this thread by Eric Payne.

I think this is the healthier/positive type of dialog w/in the community that for the average googling/bystander/non-community member comes across isn't frightened off w/reading.

Calling children [[because emotionally/maturity/experience they are still children]] "fuckwits" and statements of "You are merely the the maggots that live in the shit, waiting to grow up and becomes flies yourselves, while the shit still stinks no matter how much toilet water you throw on it."

Is anything but dialog and exactly... EXACTLY the type of bullying and cruel behavior that these ignorant stupid children are being called out for.

High School isn't fair. It never has been and it never will be. It's a fucking prison yard out there. I applaud Constance for her bravery and she will grow to be a better lesbian woman for it all.

But some of LGBTQRXY&Z "community" bloggers/commenters need some lessons on maturity from Constance.

The one thing that has been forgotten in this whole affair is that it was the ADMINSTRATION who started the whole mess, not the parents, not the students, but ADMINISTRATION. Had they said it was okay for her to wear a tux, prom would have gone on as planned, everyone would have gone and had a good time, the cliques would have still existed....but there wouldn't have been this devisivness. Constance was forced by ADMINSTRATION, not the students, to either drop the request or to stand up for herself. She chose to stand up! Hurrah for Constance!!

Eric Payne | April 8, 2010 11:45 AM

Rikki, I think most of us are of the opinion the Administration is going to be dealt via the judicial system - there are going to be ramifications for thwarting a judge's order. If not, then this little Mississippi town will turn out to be the example used by those anarchists who have been awaiting some signal for open rebellion since this President's election.

Picture Pat Robertson... or Glenn Beck... or Rush Limbaugh using this "non-prom prom" incident over and over again in their daily broadcasts saying, essentially: "Hey, do whatever you want. The rules don't apply anymore. God is protecting those who are upholding His morality!"

There are only a few times in my life I remember the political climate being this ugly in America. To be honest, at the time of that ugliness, I didn't know it was "politics" as much as I just knew it was scary to watch the news. Those two times both ended very badly - with the assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harvey Milk.

Babe Free | April 8, 2010 9:21 AM

Lindsey -- what a pathetic justification for doing something so heinously WRONG. GROW UP young lady (and i sue that term loosely). My daughter is a Sr and we also live in a VERY small town (in AR). I would be ASHAMED if my daughter, a popular cheerleader, and her friends did something like this. And i would be ashamed of my town if we allowed it. I cant even comprehend the parents doing such a thing - and then justifying it. You are a sad little girl who needs to recognize what really happened and GROW UP! You will NOT make it out in the real world unless you CHANGE YOUR MIND!

Brandi Skipalis | April 8, 2010 5:33 PM

What the parents and students involved in this sad piece of history did was amoral and repugnant, no matter how angry these students might have been at Constance for the school canceling prom in the first place. Let me make one thing very clear - Constance is not at fault for getting the prom cancelled. The bigoted school administrators who were in charge of the prom are. They were the ones who chose to cancel an entire prom rather than let two girls attend together with one dressed in a tuxedo. They were the ones who chose to discriminate against Constance in a way that would raise the wrath of the local community. And they were the ones who are ultimately at fault here for the prom being cancelled. Constance is not at fault for their actions, and if they hadn't done these things, the ACLU would never have been involved, the case would never have gone to court, and there most certainly wouldn't have been the media circus that there undoubtedly is now. It is the school administration who are at fault for prom getting cancelled. Not Constance. And it is those parents who arranged the private prom and those students who "boycotted" the real prom because of their misplaced anger towards Constance who are at fault also, because this new storm of negative media is of their own making. To all of those parents and students who were involved in this "boycott", I say place the blame where blame is deserved - the school administration! If they hadn't refused Constance's request, none of this ever would have happened at all.

Pastor Dak | April 9, 2010 12:29 AM

All high school seniors aside... Constance aside... what were you sweethearts thinking when you dissed the special education/mentally capable students (5 of them, right?) Sorry, your blood runs thin... and so do your excuses. Victims, my foot! Yiyiyiyi. Nope, still backwater twits! What on earth must the parents be like?!

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