Guest Blogger

Soccer Is So Gay

Filed By Guest Blogger | June 19, 2010 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Living
Tags: Dan Woog, gay athletes, soccer coach, soccer is gay, soccer team, World Cup

Editors' Note: Guest blogger Dan Woog is the author of the "Jocks" books on gay athletes. dan-good-shot.jpgHis "OutField" column on LGBT sports is syndicated nationally.

It's official: Soccer is gay.

That's not the word from millions of football-loving, futbol-hating Americans. It comes from an unimpeachable source: The Onion Sports Network.

Okay, so the satiric TV show is as trustworthy as Fox News. Soccer is not really gay.

But at least one coach is. That would be me.

Since coming out more than a dozen years ago, I've had some great experiences with my Staples High School teams. Players ask insightful questions, stand up for LGBT issues, and serve as role models for less evolved athletes in other sports.

We've also shared some gay-related laughs.

Two years ago, we played in a championship match. Tensions were high, and with the crowd of 2,000 so close to the field, our players heard everything. At halftime - with the score tied - our captain was upset.

"Dan," he said, "those fans say all kinds of crap about me. They're getting in my head."

"What are they saying?" I asked.

Suddenly he looked stricken. But I asked, so he had to tell.

"They say I'm gay. They're calling me a faggot," he blurted.

"Oh, wow," I laughed. "Don't worry. They're just confusing you with me."

Only a few players heard my comment, but they smiled. The captain instantly relaxed.

We spent the rest of halftime talking about offense and defense - the important stuff.

Then we went out and kicked the other team's ass.

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Similar things have happened to me as a marching band and drum corps instructor. Though I can't say that I have ever taught a band where there was not at least one kid who wasn't straight. A mom called last week for a scheduling thing and before she hung up she said thanks for being someone who "understands" her son since he utterly confuses his father it is causing a lot of tension for them all right now.
Keep doing what you do.

That is the first Onion video I've seen to have so many negative votes. Football fans just can't take a joke.

I dunno, I found that onion video kinda homophobic. Was I the only one who took the joke to be "Soccer's gay (as in bad) and we'll make it punny by saying soccer's gay (as in homo)"?