Sara Whitman

Adore: To Regard with the Utmost Esteem, Love, and Respect

Filed By Sara Whitman | August 29, 2010 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: love and respect, new love, utmost esteem

One last day. Jeanine took the boys out to play mini golf while I cleaned the house. We're going to go swimming in a little bit- the ocean has been warm, the waves big.

Okay, it's warm for Ogunquit. Sixty five degrees is balmy for us.

It's hard to leave here, knowing the world will be moving at high pace when we get home. My sister has a doctor's appointment, the kids going to the dentist and Zachary starts school officially on Thursday. That means school supplies, real bedtimes, and my favorite rule- no TV or video games during the week.

At all. Ever. Period. Yup, I'm that mean.

It's been an important week for us. Finally, we've been on our own and with all of us here. Even Jeanine stopped working, which is a miracle.

A friend of mine has started a new relationship- she's been divorced for five years now. While I am very excited for her- she's certainly been through the wringer and deserves some love and kindness- there is a part of me that is very jealous.

After almost twenty years of marriage, listening to someone experiencing the new rush of joy is hard. I'm far far away from those days and when I was in them? I was only 28 years old.

What the hell did I know? Did I know to soak it in and cherish it because it wasn't going to happen again? Nope.

It's early on, and what got me was that the new girlfriend said she adored her.

Adore. Oh, how long has it been since I felt adored?

Then I realized something really important- it's up to me, and to my wife, to continue to find the new places of love in our life. It only stops if you don't pay attention, if you take it for granted. This friend's new love can be a reminder. Not just of what was, but what can be. What continues to grow. It's not about never again, it's about what's next.

It helps that we've had a few days without work barking down either of our throats.

As we enjoy our last day, I'm going to try hard and think about what I can do on a every day basis to remember how much I love Jeanine. I've asked her to do the same. To take that extra minute- kiss in the shower, looking long in each others eyes, sitting on the deck outside checking in on life not just schedules- to adore each other again.

If we can do that? We have another great 20 years coming.

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Regan DuCasse | August 29, 2010 5:07 PM

That's what adults who want to BE adults do. That's what remembering who you are to another person and what they are to you is all about.
Unselfish thoughts like that and gestures of kindness, concern, interest...

They cost nothing, but have worth beyond all rubies.
All the best!