R Conrad

I love having non-marital sex with you!

Filed By R Conrad | August 16, 2010 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, The Movement
Tags: Dean Spade, gay marriage, radical queer

A cute little video from Dean Spade, founder of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, that really has us radicals laughing our little booties off! A great quick read of the gay marriage movement with some serious humor thrown in for good measure.

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Thank goodness Mr. Spade used an instant-video site to make that, otherwise I would have to pity him for having wasted so much effort on something that didn't have even a shred of cleverness, wit or irony. If that dialog had instead been delivered by two people bending over and opening and closing their buttholes in sync with the words, it not only would have been funnier, but a far more accurate representation of the value of radical queers' rhetoric against same-sex marriage.

Instead, it's just a couple of badly drawn cartoon mammals of indeterminate species giving a typical radical queer two-way position statement (I wouldn't call it a "conversation"), demonstrating nothing more than their innate prejudice against and simplistic perception of the views of anyone who doesn't agree with them.

What's truly hilarious is the mere possibility that someone, somewhere would actually think this video is funny.

lol its kindof self-aware tho like srsly

Well, Alaric, if it isn't funny to you, it isn't funny to you. But for someone who thinks that radical queers have no sense of humour, irony, cleverness etc, and have nothing to contribute to meaningful discourse, are a bunch of useless wads of flesh, and should be ignored etc.(I merely summarise your many, oh, so many statements on our blogs)-- you always have a lot, a lot, a lot to say about us. Not only that, you're always jostling to be the first in line to say it. It's fascinating to watch and it has been a riveting study in cultural anthropology, of a sort.

What's that (admittedly rather sexist) stereotype about the boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he likes? Come on over to the dark side, baby, and just admit your mad love for us; it's more fun here in our playhouse.

Yasmin, there's no objective gauge for what is funny and what isn't, but it should be clear when someone is actually attempting to make a joke -- humor is usually detectable even if an individual doesn't personally find it funny. But there was almost nothing in this video that fit the definition of a joke or satire. It's just a couple of cartoon animals with robotic voices having a dialog that more or less repeats the arguments you guys usually make against same-sex marriage, oh, but with references to dry humping and the "wedding-industrial complex" (oh my god, my side is hurting at that one).

As they say in show business, don't quit the day job.

See, Alaric, the fact that you're even actually arguing that about whether a cute and short little cartoon about two robotic pandas "fit[s] the definition of a joke or satire" is like someone who rails that the popular video of cats and a treadmill is neither in the spirit of Steve Martin nor Buster Keaton and is therefore an abject failure in comedy. Someone like that either a) has way too much on their hands or b)once dated the guy who made the video and is still pissed they never made it beyond second base.


Which is to say: duuuuuude, lighten up.

Now stop secretly writing our names on your desk in French class (Martha K. saw you!) and just come on over, sweetie. We've got (vegan) cookies! Oh, and hemp milk and patchouli (you know how we rads are).

1. "Why go to a wedding or a commitment ceremony that is painful, silencing, and depressing.....?

Hey, don't go. No one there wants you all pooping on the
party !!!!!

2. "Wedding industrial complex"

Wow, spoken by people totally without joy and love in their lives.

3. The gay marriage issue has all America talking about marriage, and all the other things on the gay/lesbian equality list. This has never happened before, and it is helping all the other important issues , like ENDA (Employment Non-discrimination Act), repealing DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell), more AIDS funding, etc.

Riiiiiiiiiiight. Because ENDA's doing SO well right now. And DADT? That has nothing to do with the ramped up US wars for which the state needs to throw more bodies on the line. Oh, no, it's because the Pentagon's thinking, "Hey, this gay marriage stuff is really great and makes us think - we need more of those cute gay guys in here!" AIDS funding? Billions of billions just being poured into research, dontcha know. People are not suffering from cuts at all:


Really, marriage is helping us how, again?

"demonstrating nothing more than their innate prejudice against and simplistic perception of the views of anyone who doesn't agree with them."

There is some startling irony to your statement here, as you seem to be aptly describing the tirades you go off on anytime anyone brings up a viewpoint on marriage that doesn't align with your own. At least this cartoon isn't actively hostile.

Well, that's one of the better uses of that site that I've seen. It seems like everyone's using those videos these past few weeks even though that's been around for a while.

But, yeah, the humor usually comes from making robots say unexpected things, so go dry-humping.

Ryan, thanks for this. And if this site is easy to use - maybe we could suggest that folks use it to make their own radical queer critiques of marriage/DADT/HCL...?

"...plus I might get some new towels."

"Let's dry hump before we go to the beach, okay?"

LOVE it!

I got excited when I saw the title of the post and then I realized this wasn't a private e-mail but more of a general public offer. *sighs*

You've lost the romance now, Conrad. Can I have my ring back?

oh girl you know i already brought that shit to the pawn shop! a sassy queen still has to eat!

I can't figure out all this energy against fellow/sister LGBTQ persons, instead of promoting your own goals that are not anti-gay.

>> "I can't figure out all this energy against fellow/sister LGBTQ persons, instead of promoting your own goals that are not anti-gay."

Well, maybe the point is that some of us queers resent being told that we are "anti-gay" because we don't support a decidedly anti-gay (not to mention anti-feminist, and pro-state, etc.) institution like marriage. The fact that queer politics has been reduced to fighting for marriage rights and nothing else is depressing and disturbing if you ask me.

The fact that you call marriage "anti-feminist" and "pro-state" really says it all: "Queer" issues are issues relevant to doctrinaire, far-left extremists, not GLBT people in general.

You can be as anti-marriage, anti-military and anti-state as you want, but at the end of the day, GLBT people are being denied the legal right to participate in legal franchises that straight people take for granted. That's why it's called "inequality."

If you're unwilling to correct these inequalities because of some belief that doing so will somehow strengthen the military-industrial complex and that the act of two men or two women marrying is sexist, and that the military and marriage will one day disappear so that we can all live in some perfect utopia, then you're unrealistic people with little or no grasp of logic whose ideological development stopped at some point during high school.

"then you're unrealistic people with little or no grasp of logic whose ideological development stopped at some point during high school."

You mean -- like those people who say things like, "you're stupid!?" Which is really what you're saying, Alaric, phrases like "ideological development" aside. So if I were you, I'd take a check of your "ideological development."

Ah, I love the smell of high-school shenanigans in the evening.

"not GLBT" people in general? Well, I would say that the queer critique of marriage is no longer restricted to queers and/or GLBTs. Which is why even Newsweek magazine recently published an essay by two straight women about why marriage is unnecessary?

Then there's Kate Bornstein, famed trans activist against marriage and its primacy in organising. And John D'Emilio and Nancy Polikoff, a stellar historian and a law professor who are critical of the notion of "equality." Oh, and all the hundreds and hundreds of people and orgs who signed on to the Beyond Marriage statement (the list includes many who identify as GLBT, not queer). We could go on, but I think the point is made. The queer critique of marriage is not only restricted to "doctrinaire, far-left extremists" as you like to paint us.

And, by the way, if it is - why do you feel the need to keep popping up and telling us how useless and miniscule our arguments are? Not that I mind - freedom of expression and all that. But I'm just curious - I mean, I generally ignore pro-gay marriage posts because I know the writers are pumping themselves up in a futile manner and I've got my own activism around marriage to take care of, the sort that's completely unaffected by such writing. What's up with you and such vehemence? What do we threaten in your life?

Screeds notwithstanding, it's clear to an increasingly large number of people, straight, queer, LGBT, radical, centrist, whatever, that marriage is not the solution and not a path to equality. There's nothing equal about a system that requires you to marry in order to gain basic benefits like health care. Looks like you are afraid of the reality. That way much agony lies.

Or, as Yoda put it,
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Or, as Walter Sobchak put in The Big Lebowski, "We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude."

Oh, come on. The only sign of "ideological development stopped at some point during high school" is libertarianism. Everything else is up for debate.

I think this bickering comes from lack of education. People don't really understand the idea of the State, or capitalism, or what these have done to our culture. When Dean says that marriage is part of the wedding-industrial complex, it's obvious to me that it's a play on the military-industrial complex, and the similar ideas discussed by scholars. Someone without this knowledge will think the reference crazy. Its humor depends on a background in the field. To me, this video is expressing Dean's personal mixed feelings about marriage equality and its less obvious effects, and how he feels about attending a gay wedding. It's his personal opinion, not a demand that everyone follow along. I can totally understand his feelings, even though I don't share them.

but i like towels... and parties.

i have been trying to get my girlfirend to marry me for those exact reasons and now this video has set us back months.