Guest Blogger

Thoughts on Gaga: Part Infinity

Filed By Guest Blogger | September 17, 2010 1:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Media
Tags: Don't Ask Don't Tell repeal, gay icons, HRC, Lady Gaga, overhyped celebrities, Zack Rosen

Editors' Note: Guest blogger Zack Rosen is a Leo who is losing his hair. He blogs at The New Gay.

Hey, did you hear that Lady Gaga appeared at the VMA’s with discharged gay soldiers to make a statement about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? That’s awesome. But she was wearing that meat dress. Eww. But “Alejandro” was a good song with a nicely queer video. But its basically a retread of “Don’t Turn Around,” and Madonna’s been making videos like that since Gaga was still Stefani Germanotto. But Lady Gaga did curry my favor by making a bold gay rights statement at last year’s Equality March. But then she advocated celibacy for women, equating sex with dependence. But she says she’s bi, so that’s something right? But Just Dance is essentially an paean to being molested while drunk on a dance floor. But…

And so it goes.

I think of Lady Gaga and HRC in very similar respects. Both are titans of contemporary queer life, but both have very little do do with my actual existance. Still, the queer blogs won’t stop covering them, they won’t stop being power players and it doesn’t do me very much good to pretend they don’t exist.

And I’ll say that Lady Gaga makes some fucking catchy pop music. I won’t put it on to ease me through a breakup, and I don’t think there is much subtext to any of it (unless you count “love love love” as subtext) but I’ve spent literally all summer with “Alejandro” in my head and I don’t mind it. That’s not even to mention the effect that “Bad Romance” will have on any dance floor, anywhere. Its basically a universal solvent when it comes to making people move.

So that’s how I feel about her music. Keep it going, girl! Write your next album. Masturbate with a cross on the White House lawn. Put a piano in a sandbox filled with coke and write a song called “Pets (that died to make my wardrobe) Sounds.” You’ve certainly got people’s attention.

So Lady Gaga, this post isn’t for you. It’s for the rest of the gay universe that’s put you at their center. Has it ever occurred to blogs like Queerty that a lot of us really, really are sick of reading about you? I’m sure you love the publicity, and I know that the mere mention of your gossamer frame drives traffic up like Mark Foley’s dick at a daycare center. But the job of the media shouldn’t just be to parrot back whatever is hot and superficial at any given moment. It’s really gotten to the point that Lady Gaga wiping her ass back to front is national news. Lady Gaga looks the wrong way at the Catholic Church and people stop the presses. She goes to Easter Dinner wearing the actual shroud of turin as a tampon and little crippled boys in wool caps shout “extree, extree, barf all about it.”

When even Camille Paglia weighs in, you know things have gone too far. What’s next, Judith Butler giving a treatise on Susan Boyle? Naomi Wolf appearing on Glee? I always enjoy when ivory tower academics recognize the import of pop culture, but I honestly cannot read any more posts about Lady Gaga. The irony of even writing this on TNG is making my spleen hurt, and I bought a hair shirt to wear for the next week as a consequence.

The best I can hope is that my words signal the herald of the inevitable backlash. God, how I’d love that. Unless it leads to a billion more articles about Lady Gaga’s falling star, which will just set the stage for her inevitable “comeback” whenever she’s doing paying the penance for initial success.

But I wanna get back to the gay blogs for a minute. To paraphrase an old chestnut: Lady Gaga isn’t a gay issue. She’s a human rights issue. Everyone can be annoyed by her equally. The endless breathless coverage is starting to make me feel like I’m less of a fag for not caring. I hate being told who to worship because, really, at the end of the day I’m not letting Lady Gaga define me.

So for all the queer media outlets that do, I have to ask: What’s wrong with you? It’s a big queer world out there. Lets start hearing about more of it.

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Oh, Zack, you know better than that. Lady Gaga may embody and unify a certain emotional Gaygay, but where she really matters is in her total public, which is far beyond LGBT.

Imagine the ignorant virgins hearing her. What the hell is she talking about? What am I missing in this performance? Google it and presto! immediate revelation from deus ex machina. Migod, so that's what it's about.

What can I do? Send dough to SU, SLDN, and more. No dough. I'll drive downtown and sit in until they arrest me. Mom will kill me and Dad will disown me, which won't make much difference when I'm dead. Oh well, I'm doing the right thing and so I trust the rest will somehow take care of itself.

And thus a confused and bored soul discovers a fabulous new world of applied love just by listening to Lady Gaga.

And as the word spreads of this newfound joy, complete erotic freedom is finally realized on earth. Nothing less is real.

Wiccans and astrologers believe the equinox next week can be a great time for the final realization of equality as day and night momentarily are in balance. And two major reports are being issued at the same time. Just before, Campus Pride publishes their big study of anti-LGBT atrocities in education, while immediately after (9/23) Woodhull Freedom Foundation is releasing their report on the status of sexual freedom.

And all the while the DADT gabble-gabble machine will be chanting away in the background as the great apes debate whether we are, in fact, human beings. Somehow they have failed to notice that they are showing they are not themselves human beings, primarily because of their need to debate this matter at all.

Welcome to the Planet of the Apes. Ripe for fruitful reeducation, though, because, when you wash away the shyte and bulshyte, the bottom line (and the top line) is that SEX IS FUN.

We are going to show people how to live the living joy.

You know what they say, "All publicity is good publicity." And when your fanbase is full of de homos, doing LGBT rights actions only helps her sell records. It might not be her only motivation (and I don't think it is), but it should be factored in to the equation. (See: Kathy Griffin)

She is a spokesperson for her generation. In that capacity, I'm glad she is trying to help the LGBT community.

"Born This Way" is a helpful step towards ending the religious teaching that we are a "choice." I heard about it earlier this year and it's supposed to reference "gay people." She is moving the cultural conversation in our direction and that is a positive.

Tab Hunter’s Ghost | September 17, 2010 7:12 PM

I’ve never been a fan of her music but anyone who can get Harry Reid to tweet a response to her DADT tweet has got a helluva lot more clout than any “official” organization that I’m aware of at this point.

Think what you will, she’s heated up the issue more than any of the insider organizations could ever have hoped to do and brought more pressure to bear from newbies who might have just looked the other way. Go Ga Ga!

Lady Gaga is whatever you want her to be. You see in her whatever you want to see. You hear whatever message you want to hear. And that is what pop art is.

What the gay person hears isn't what the straight person hears. It's abstract enough to be interpreted however you want.

Her web site directing people to SLDN probably has had more impact than anything else she's done because it is actually the SLDN that has done the educating.

How come it never seems to occur to anyone that Lady Gaga is just a nice (bi-identified) member of the LGBT community who is doing her part to achieve equality. She makes her music and she participates in the life of her community, just as she has always done, regardless of the current media attention.

She is just doing her duty to make life a little better for her having been here, as each of us should, regardless of whether we are "Lady Gaga" the media's current "it" girl or are just plain average "Stefani" living an ordinary life well out of the spotlight.

For the same reason Melissa Etheridge isn't just any old lesbian and Perez Hilton isn't just any random gay guy.

When famous people speak for us, they don't always say what we want them to say, and they're not really accountable to anyone. They can't do what they're doing as a non-famous person.