They don't make them like Alice Ghostly and Kaye Ballard anymore. If you are unfamiliar with their (gay, snarky, hilarious) magic, treat yourself to these glorious 90 seconds.
This song is being sung, whistled and whimpered through bitter tears across the United Kingdom today. Let's join in! Everybody now... "oh why would a fellow want a girl like her, a girl who's merely lovely..."