My partner, the corporate CEO with the Italian power suits, is on the couch in his underwear, nuzzling our dog Pebbles adoringly. "I love my good girl so much," he says, his voice a childish coo. "I wish she was really small so I could carry her around in my ear..."
"I know, sweetie," I reply, understanding completely. All fifty pounds of Auggie (right) are on my chest as he lightly snores. It's getting hard to breathe but I don't mind. "Let's take Auggie to the W for brunch again. Maybe they'll let him sit in a chair this time."
If we're not petting them, we're making out with them. Or overfeeding them. Or talking to guests about how adorable they are, as if their level of adorableness wasn't evident when they attacked the guests with their tongues upon arrival.
And so, for all you pet lovers, here are my Top Five Most Adorable Animal Videos. I don't care if you've seen one of more of them before. I can't stop watching them.