My kids keep asking me what I want for Christmas. Over and over. So... here's my list:
I want peace and quiet for a day. No fighting, no wrestling, no sassy back talk. A mother's dream. I'm not looking for peace on earth, I know that's too much to ask for, but a single day. In my house.
I want a gas mask to get through the high cologne days in the car when I can't open the window all the way.
I want Obama to bring the troops home. Now. Not in 2014, which is the new date quietly being discussed by the administration.
I want my house clean. No clutter anywhere, everything neatly put away, and someone else to clean the kitty litter once in a while. Okay, maybe just once would be nice.
I want someone else to clean my office, file all the paperwork, and pay all the bills.
I want my wife to adore me again instead of boss me around.
I want Ben and Jeanine to stop fighting all the time about everything and anything.
I want the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell so we can focus on ending the wars.
I want someone to send me flowers for no reason at all except that they were thinking of me.
I want James Dobson to have a vision of hell and realize it's filled with people like him- not the gays.
I want my good friend to find a woman who is loving, kind and sweet. Someone who can take care of her, love her, because she deserves a break.
I want my sister to wake up and say, damn. I feel good today.
I want all politicians to have an electric collar that zaps them when they lie.
I want all babies to come home from the hospital with a warning tag: Will turn into adolescent.
I want my mother's voice in my head to take a nap, giving me a break from the constant yammering about how horrible I am.
I want another good friend to land the perfect job, one that feels great, pays great, and gives her the kudos she deserves.
Overall? I want to smile more, laugh more, kiss more, hug more, dance more, sing more. All things I realize it's up to me to give to myself.
Or a coffee mug I can take on the T with me in the morning. I'm really not that hard to shop for...