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Alex Blaze

Obama admits: I was born in Morocco

Filed By Alex Blaze | December 07, 2010 8:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
Tags: Barack Obama, birtherism, humorous blog post, irony, Kenya, president, satire

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference this morning, President Barack obama.jpgObama admitted that he was, in fact, born in Morocco.

"It's half-way between Kenya and the US," Mr. Obama explained, "so in the spirit of bipartisan compromise I'm going to admit that I was born in Morocco. I haven't seen the long-form birth certificate either and I don't remember my birth, so who knows? There's probably some truth in both sides. I hope by extending this olive branch to my opponents that we can lay this matter to rest."

This attempt to reach across the aisle to Republicans follows Mr. Obama's compromise that extended tax cuts to the richest in the country and lowered the estate tax in order to make sure the millions of unemployed Americans don't starve for the next few months. He hopes this compromise will lay the matter of his disputed citizenship to rest.

"It's a good start," said the Washington Post's David Broder. "I recently visited a small town filled with Real Americans in West Virginia, and I found them to be hostile to the president. But if he's willing to stand back from his ultra-liberal 'Hawaii is part of America' position, I believe that they'll be more amenable to his liberal agenda, like discussing allowing homosexuals in the military."

Out-going Democratic Senator Evan Bayh applauded the president's concession. "This is exactly what Democrats should be doing. Obstructing the Republican agenda like we did for the last two years, including the Republican desire to impeach the president, only divided America and didn't accomplish anything for the American people. The people didn't want Barack Obama to be president; they wanted low taxes on the wealthy and for someone to take out, excuse me, take care of Social Security."

He added, "We should be listening to the will of the American people, not some election that occurred, may I remind everyone, over two years ago."

The debate over the president's place of birth has dogged him for the first two years of his presidency as intellectuals on both sides of the debate had strong evidence in favor of their own opinion. The fury, though, has ruined the bipartisan spirit of the Bush Administration, even spilling over to some of Georgetown's finest cocktail parties. Political analysts in the nation's capital have been very concerned with getting America past this debate.

When reached for comment, Republican Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann said, "Morocco? OK, whatever. It's still not America. That's a great compromise because we still win."

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Too funny!

Next he'll say he *is* a Christian but when he prays he faces the east...

What a massive disappointment he has been...

LOL. I read the Koran but only a Latin translation.

*giggles uncontrolably*

Upon reading this my first reaction was "WHAT I DON'T EVEN."

And then I laughed. Good job!

When you made this joke last night, I nearly died of laughter. I'm so tickled to see that you expanded it into a full post.

... and in 13 months we can just eat the unemployed.

Angela Brightfeather | December 7, 2010 11:46 AM

Very good Alex. We might as well join in on bashing him, there isn't anything else that seems to affect him. It owuld seem as thiugh his decisions are based soley onthe fact that the Republican leaders really do have some kind of harmful, blackmailing type of information that makes him quit before he begins to fight.

Personally, I think that he gave up the minute of the election and he realized that his place in history was cemented as the first Black man to become President of the United States. After that and his aquisition of an historic place known as his own personal legacy, it has all been downhill from there.

If he thinks that he is going to use "taxes being cut for the rich and famous" as an issue for reelection in two years, I think he will need to unstrap the pillows from the boxing gloves between now and then because he has essentially lost his entire base by this time.

Here is a list of what he now has to do to get reelected in 2012:

Hand the government over to someone with some balls like Joe Biden. They might knock on him for what he says, but at least he opens his mouth up and some fire comes out.

Travel to Mars and back.

And in related news President Obama's appeasement negotiation strategy has been the inspiration behind the following recent moves:

The National Organization for Women (NOW) has agreed that men can legally assault women if the women are in sexy clothing. NOW has expressed the belief that men may control themselves better once women learn to behave like proper ladies.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) has agreed to allow slavery for Blacks to return to the U.S. in the traditional slave states. In a statement the NAACP expressed a desire to bury the hatchet with the KKK and conservative Christian bigots by extending this peace offering.

AARP, formerly the American Association of Retired Persons, has agreed that people over 70 will be allowed to die naturally without medical intervention. The AARP stated "This long overdue move, expected to save gads of money, has the added advantage of making life easier for the many doctors and nurses who will no longer have to deal with such relics."

Meanwhile negotiations continue with the association of damn fine transsexuals (AODFTSs) which it appears may be receptive to turning down their hotness to appease cissexuals. In a statement their representative agreed she might be willing to only wear 2" heels so long as she could still get her nails done regularly.

Obama is the epitome of "pragmatic."

What might be interesting to witness is some Democrats filibustering this tax deal.

"60 votes" goes both ways.

One can only hope... though I did write my house reps and senators, encouraging all of them to vote it down. I'd rather have ALL tax rates go up than have the tax cuts for the rich extended.

janiice J carney | December 8, 2010 10:18 AM

worthy of the Onion. In the real world history will be camparing Obma'a negotiating skills with Neville Chamberlain's skills at
foreign policy,

That was damn funny. Thanks.