Bil Browning

Would You Date a Bisexual Man?

Filed By Bil Browning | January 20, 2011 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: bisexual men, no more down low,

In yesterday's post about African-American LGBT people marching in LA's Martin Luther King Day parade, I clicked through to a site she referenced - The site has some really professional, high quality videos aimed at black LGBT folks.

As I was looking around, this video caught my interest. It's part of Episode 104, but I wanted to clip out this segment for conversation here on Bilerico. It's called, Would you date a bisexual man? (Segment starts at 15:11)

Well, would you? Have you? If so, how'd it go?

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Hell, I wouldn't date a man at all.

I understand the concern, but I do think I would definitely be okay with it! Open honest communication is the key to a relationship, in my opinion. That and finding each other sexy or at least funny.

"Well, would you?" Yes, definitely. With my gender where it is now, I feel more comfortable with the idea of dating a bisexual if possible. "Have you?" Not to my knowledge, though the majority of my partners have been women.

I already sorta am, so whatever. It's all good.

Paige Listerud | January 21, 2011 1:33 AM

I've met Steven Simons. We chatted over lunch together in Chicago in the summer of 2009 at the Bi Health Summit, which was part of the larger LGBTQI Health Summit. He's an incredibly intelligent and sociable activist, educator and spokesperson for LA's HIV outreach programs.

I personally would not date Steven romantically but if he lived in Chicaog I would definitely hook him up with bi/gay men and bi/straight women friends who were looking for someone who could keep them on their toes. He's bright, personable, funny, cares about his job and is a great communicator. Too bad LA's got him. Oh well, Chicago, guess we got to go hunting for other smart and hot bi men.

I went out and lived with one for five years based on that experience I don't think I would again.

I wanted to ask you about this. I'm not trying to be confrontational here. I have many times run into this very type of statement where monosexual people project a bad experience with a bi person onto other bi people. Generalizing the behaviour of one bi as the behaviour of all bi people.
I have dated gay guys who treated me a bit poorly but I did not generalize that as the way all gay guys are. The same goes for straight women.
Have you ever been treated poorly by a gay person? If so why did you not generalize that as the standard for gay people when you have generalized a standard for bi people from the behaviour of one person?

First I didn't say I'm monosexual nor did I say I wouldn't go out with another bisexual.There is also a difference between being treated poorly by someone you'll never sleep with and the person you are sleeping with.What I did say was that I didn't think I would go out with another. As a mostly heterosexual sexual identified Trans woman I can be easily labelled bi because when I was younger I had relationships with women to try and meet societies expectations of a male born person.But I could also be labelled gay by someone who doesn't respect the gender change process or lesbian by someone who understands I've always had a female gender.Personally I joke that I'm a BLT because it sounds tasty.

Well, I would and have but since I'm a bi male it might not be that significant to the discussion.
But I will say that in the past dating other bi men and bi women has always been more peaceful than dating monosexual men or women. Other bi people tend to understand one another more.

If you think about it we are all Bi! Don't most of us get screwed by the Government? The government is both Male and Female! Don't you think!

This statement is mostly for the Tea Party members that read this blog! Maybe the above comment will confuse a few?

If I were ever to date a man, bi guys would be the only sexuality I'd consider dating.

Paige Listerud | January 21, 2011 3:50 PM

You know, I now regret rushing to read this blog and telling everyone how great Steve is--because I did it out of internalized biphobia.

"Look, everybody! See what a cool guy Steve Simons is? And he's bi! He's a cool, socially conscious bi man--and he's articulate and well-dressed! Don't you love this bi male poster child! Please?!"


But you know what? I'm reacting to all the negative stigmatization and stereotyping of bisexual men (and bi women), as well as desperation for LG and S people to see us as people for a change.

And ultimately, the question "Would you date a bi man?" is intrinsically biphobic. What if Bil had posted "Would you date a black man?" or "Would you date a disabled man?" Who would jump down his throat for it?

All I know is, I hate this question and I'll probably hear it for the rest of my life.

Hey where can I find one?!