Mark S. King

The Hilarious Idiocy of Anonymous Gay Sex

Filed By Mark S. King | February 03, 2011 4:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: condoms, HIV/AIDS, testing

These horny robots are about to get it on after hooking up through a gay chat site. Except the horned up bareback bottom forgot to ask about the top's HIV status. Hilarious stupidity follows.

Now allow me to share some thoughts from the man who created this video and why it might trump the efforts of entire health departments.

In my crystal meth days, I had chats like these through glory holes. "If you're clean, we'll do it raw," the gentleman in the adjoining booth would suggest, to which I would reply, "You're taking the word of a stranger you're chatting with through a three inch hole...?"

The joke, if there really is one, is on the cum-guzzling bareback bottoms who "restrict" their hookups to men who claim they are negative. These misguided folks are almost certainly already positive and don't yet know it, leaving the door open for them to infect others.

Thumbnail image for Robot-DDF.JPGThe lesson in all this, of course, is not to put your life into the hands of someone you've known for five minutes. Or five months. The responsibility not to get exposed to HIV (and hepatitis and other STD's) is entirely yours. And another thing: if you're a sexually active "man about town" and your last HIV test was months ago, the results don't really matter anymore. Go get a new one.

I exchanged e-mails with the producer of the robot video, who prefers the anonymity of cyberspace but nevertheless has strong feelings about the curious mating habits of the gay male. "If (HIV negative) guys are out there having anonymous or all-but-anonymous sex with strangers, they're having plenty of contact with HIV+ guys," he wrote me. "Is there really something that they'd do with a stranger from Manhunt or Grindr or wherever that they wouldn't do with someone who says he's HIV+? It seems that what bothers them is knowing the truth."

"I'd like to think that gay men could educate themselves enough to apply a safety standard to their conduct that doesn't stigmatize anybody," he goes on, perhaps a bit optimistically, "rather than hide behind a curtain of fear and blame.

Thumbnail image for GloryHole.JPGI explored a lot of this territory is one of my older videos, "Mark's R-Rated Sex Pig Blog." In the video I discuss risks like barebacking and reenact my glory hole conversations (right), complete with a wall, a hole, and my friend Brian playing "the mouth." And since the video was done before I got a handle on my meth addiction, you can see the ravages of addiction on my face, which is a lesson all its own.

This funny, bawdy robot video says more about the state of gay male sexual risk than any of the horrid public health campaigns out there today. It is exactly the kind of message I would have praised in my recent video conversation with HIV activist Sean Strub about HIV prevention campaigns.

If you want to do something about new HIV infections among our gay brothers, here's an easy task: send this video to every sexually active guy you know.

Sometimes the truth hurts. In this case, it's also hilarious.

Kudos to Maureen McCarty of The New Gay for flagging this video for me. Finding potty-mouthed robots chatting about risky sex is exactly what makes a good editor, I always say. -- Mark

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Om Kalthoum | February 3, 2011 4:51 PM

Help an ignorant girl out, will you? What is DDF or DDM or whatever the robot was saying? Thanks.

Mark, your candor about your life gives this such credibility- and you're not alone.
This speaks to me and parts of my life I'd rather forget- but it's that very common denial that is making this mess worse.

Thanks for the reminder.

I loved this video, Mark. It's just so true - these people assume that just asking someone means that they should put their lives in danger. Seriously, when I hear people's stories about the sexual risks they take, they make the... saunas I've been to in Paris seem pretty safe.

Something also tells me that the DDF robot there wants people who don't disclose their status to be hanged. You know, since that's clearly the only way someone can keep themselves from seroconverting.

I'm so glad you guys appreciate this one. It's a tough world out there, in the gay dating/hookup jungle.

I recall one time a guy said to me that he was not going to say one way or another about his status. I need to assume EVERYONE is positive and then you won't do anything to put yourself at risk. That advice stayed with me!

But you state only half of the rule:

(a) If you think you are negative, you must assume that EVERYONE out there is negative; -- AND -- (b) If you are positive, you must assume that EVERYONE out there is negative.

(My only caveat to (b) is that, in my humble experience, if someone says he is positive, you can probably believe him.)

Obvious typo I should have caught:

(a) If you think you are negative, you must assume that EVERYONE out there is positive; -- AND -- (b) ...

I can't tell you how many ads I see online where a guy *says* he's negative, and yet wants multiple guys to come over and unload in his ass! How stupid! How delusional!

Amazing how many stupid, handsome kids out there are porking each other without protection... they think they are invincible and immune to life's vagaries...

RebelPrince | February 6, 2011 2:48 PM


Both of these videos are delightful. It can't be easy being honest about the experiences of your past, when that past doesn't seem so pretty in retrospect. But only by being more open and honest about the things we've done can we paint a clear picture of the pitfalls we've ended up in... in the hopes that other can avoid them.

Thank you for sharing with us.