Annette Gross

This PFLAG Parent Is Angry!

Filed By Annette Gross | March 05, 2011 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Marriage Equality, Politics, The Movement
Tags: changing minds, marriage amendment, marriage equality, PFLAG, PFLAG mom, PFLAG parent

In response to the proposed marriage discrimination amendment (HJR-6) in Indiana, there is going to be a Rally for Equality on Monday, March 14th from 12:00 noon to 1:00 p.m. at the Indiana Statehouse in Indianapolis.

exploding_head.jpgI'm helping to work on this event. I am doing this because, as a PFLAG parent, I am very angry and disgusted with our state legislators. They have no compassion and don't care what can potentially happen to our GLBT children.

We know that this bill will be bad for business and education in Indiana. Bright and talented individuals will not want to enter a state that officially says "You're not wanted."

We also know that this bill will threaten families who could lose the rights and protections available to them. But I wonder what these legislators who are voting for the bill would say if confronted by a parent who says, "You're going to ruin my child's life - why is my child any less than yours?"

One of the things PFLAG parents want to do is go out into our communities and talk to other parents. We want to talk to women from churches and synagogues, women's political and social organizations, and women's community groups. We will talk to them parent-to-parent.

I hope I am not being naïve, but I'm counting on these women to have compassion and understanding. I'm counting on them to realize that all parents have the same wishes and hopes for their children and we don't want to see them hurt. I'm hoping they will have an "A ha!" moment and see that this is not about marriage or sex or who does what with whom.

We feel that by sharing our feelings and thoughts with other parents, we might have a chance to educate some of the citizens of Indiana. Hopefully, they will decide that fairness and equality trumps intolerance and small-mindedness.

As we say in PFLAG, we hope to change hearts and minds.

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Thank you Annette. Dedicated, thoughtful parents like you make a huge difference in this fight for equal rights.

I think one (1) heterosexual parent's positive comment and action = 20 of ours. I truly believe that without VERY VOCAL heteroseual allies we are doomed to continue treading water in this civil rights struggle......all while some of us are drowning or already dead.

I agree with John. Thank you very much, Annette.

Rick Sutton | March 6, 2011 8:28 AM

Ahhh, Annette, I'm so verklempt! Parents and Friends are such solid support. We can never thank you enough.

But we'll say it anyway: thanks. Hugs.

Annette, you are a wonderful woman and we need more like you. Your children should thank God that you are their mother. I hope that the seven years that have passed since several states voted for those amendments (like mine of Georgia) has helped to educate those mothers you will be speaking to. Time is suppose to heal all wounds, and time is what will help us win. It is your turn to shine, as you already have done in this article. We love you.

I think it is healthy to see a Mother take a stand. I was disappointed both times I contacted Pflag in my region, looking for support. The first time I called and found the Representative indifferent. Months ago, while posting on a News Site, I was encouraged to contact PFLAG again in my region. I did , I believe I received a Canned response and I am still waiting for the response I believe I was told would come.
It is hopeful to see allies get pissed. After all, this is a Human Struggle.

Annette Gross Annette Gross | March 6, 2011 12:46 PM

Jerry, please let me know what chapter you contacted and in what state. I can contact National PFLAG and try to figure out what happened. You should not have to wait this long for a response.

Annette Gross Annette Gross | March 6, 2011 12:51 PM

Thank you for your wonderful comments. Indy PFLAG and the other chapters in Indiana have a wonderful group of parents - they are all dedicated and working hard to change the world. We are all in this together and I've learned quite a lot from them. To learn more about Indy PFLAG you can go to

"I'm hoping they will have an "A ha!" moment and see that this is not about marriage or sex or who does what with whom."

If it's not about marriage or sex or anything like that, then what will it be about?