The Washington Post has a humorous column up responding to the Tennessee "Don't Say Gay" bill that would ban teachers from discussing any sexuality other than heterosexuality in schools. Apparently there's too much heterosexuality at school for one of the Post's staff writers:
People would not choose to be attracted to members of the opposite sex if someone had not read them a book in their childhood about a male and female duck forming a family. Curse whoever read that book! Such attractions are powerfully distracting! They ended Edward VII's promising career!
Why brainwash our kids?
If you can't share it with the whole class, don't bring it up at all! Some people say they have favorite sexual positions. My favorite position is the one where you don't talk about it, ever, and occasionally you eat a sandwich and feel kind of lonesome.
It really is a shame that we're not teaching children all the ill-effects of heterosexuality, starting with Malthus and going all the way down to The Lockhorns, so that they know to avoid it. Heaven forbid my children go to a college in Texas that promotes heterosexuality. img src