Sara Whitman

What Price for this Life?

Filed By Sara Whitman | April 21, 2011 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: death of a sister, estate planning, nearest relative

Strange day today. I have the appraiser coming over to go through all my sister's things and put a price tag on it for tax purposes.

Feels odd to have your whole life summed up in a number.BANG HEAD HERE

I was talking to her the other day. There is not a day that goes by where she is not in my thoughts. All the frustration over her complete disorganization has passed. I miss her sense of humor the most. The boys found a book light the other day that had the inscription, "The Light of the Lord" on it.

I don't miss the Lord stuff. I know it was a big part of her life at the end. I know it gave her comfort. Just don't miss having to listen to God's will and forcing myself not to roll my eyes.

Okay, I did roll my eyes. Often.

She really was the only person in my life who could make me laugh so hard I peed my pants. I miss that.

The other day I was asked a security question for my credit card. I had been buying things online and I never buy things, so they wanted to be sure it was me. They asked, "Who is the nearest relative to you?"

I froze. I realized I have no relatives. My wife is only considered my wife in Massachusetts- a stranger as far as the federal government is concerned. I said, Catherine Whitman.

It passed. But it made me feel so very alone.

Today I will see one way in which a life is measured. By things and the price of those things.

And I know my sister was worth much more than anyone will ever know.

(Crossposted at Suburban Lesbian Housewife. Img src)

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Aubrey Haltom | April 22, 2011 12:02 AM


My brother committed suicide last year, and the first anniversary of his death just passed.

I came across this quote, which I think speaks to what you are saying, feeling:

"In any man who dies there dies with him
his first snow and kiss and fight...
Not people die but worlds die in them."

I ♥ you, Sara. So does your sister.

I recently had the same feeling. We thought we were going to lose my mom, and I realized she was the last of the family I grew up with.

Alone describes the feeling. It was also like a huge part of my life would be simply forgotten.

Worth changes with point of view, and in the end becomes meaningless. No price describes what you had with her, and still have.

Thank you so much for sharing with us.