Although I have been unemployed for two years, I finally figured out what I was doing wrong. Whenever I have been called in to interview, I have consistently and absentmindedly neglected to bring along my fetal membranes and god only knows where I left my mucous cap and crowning photos.
Apparently, this is the new requirement for being taken seriously in this country. If you still doubt me have a look at this quote from The Onion (the only responsible news source out there):
All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels--preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery--and this will all be over, said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes, later adding that his organization would be willing to settle for a half-liter of maternal cord plasma.
Afterbirthers have decided that the only way to fully discredit President Obama is to prove that he doesn't belong.
A seance, reading of the bones, a visit from relatives who are unable to "cross over" until it is proven that our President is human and born in the US?