Six pack abs, huge cocks, all night sex parties, and drug-induced orgies are now officially over. We are now officially required to man up and grow up and take our rightful place in society as responsible, trustworthy citizens.
I want to address what is society's part in the creation and sickness (pathology) of gay male culture. Society and gay society have teamed up to make sure that we never grow up. I heard a term recently that I have taken to heart and truly believe sums up what it is we are doing and where we remain trapped if we refuse to wise up.
Somewhere along the lines we have been sold a pack of lies. It is the mindset that all gay men are young, fabulous, wealthy, problem-free, and drugged up party animals. While this may be one segment of the population, it is not our only reality.
If this is our only and most important place of belonging, we as gay men have a serious problem.
The larger society and our self-created subculture are by and large in agreement that we stay young, in a constant state of wanting and never make inroads into developing our individual and collective gifts.
What is so fascinating to me is both the level of charade this presents and the agreement by so many individuals that this behavior is OK and should be lauded.
This would be downright laughable if it didn't cost us so much and so many of our players. In my previous post regarding cruising, I made the point that cruising is neither good nor bad and that it may or may not ever go away. The deluge of passionate comments I received let me know that many folk didn't get the point.
Prolonged adolescence includes both cruising and so much that makes up our culture. The problem is that we are only presented with a few choices which seemingly diminish as we age.
If we want to spend time in fantasy world there is a huge market that is all but to eager to make a huge profit off our delusions and need to belong. There is a great deal of money being made when we are kept hyper sexual, strung out, emotionally unhealthy, isolated and just plain feeling bad about ourselves.
It is easy to deceive and manipulate people if you can determine their self-esteem and then of course their buying habits.
What I am suggesting and have been suggesting is consistently having a closer look at our habits and ways of being and then making intelligent, discernible decisions that determine what makes the most sense given the time, context and all involved parties.
Many of us think critically looking at situations is a drag and takes the fun out of life. This is a fallacy of the highest degree. When you work on having a mind that works and a healthy emotional life, you tend to enjoy your decisions and consistently look forward to the life you can create.
When things are examined critically, life is engaging and unlimited.
This is a very different way of existing in a world that is only to happy to offer you the crumbs at the table if you will allow yourself to be opportunistically pimped.
When I strive for emotional well being and truly growing up, thereby leaving Prolonged Adolescence behind me, I move from a position of choice and not manipulation and reaction.
Prolonged adolescence keeps me stuck.
Choosing to define self, regardless of the manipulation by people who have the most to gain via my misery and self-hatred, makes me free.