Bil Browning

Santorum Demands Google Change Search Results

Filed By Bil Browning | September 21, 2011 9:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: Baidu, Bing, Google, Google problem, Rick Santorum, search engines, Yahoo

Presidential wannabe Rick Santorum has come out swinging against Google in a desperate attempt to mitigate what the mainstream media has dubbed his "Google problem." Thumbnail image for SANTORUM-eating-ice-cream.jpgAfter Dan Savage launched a campaign to redefine "santorum" as "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex," it's always the top search result for his name.

"I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they'd get rid of it," Santorum said. "If you're a responsible business, you don't let things like that happen in your business that have an impact on the country."

He continued: "To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through their website or through their system is something that they say they can't handle but I suspect that's not true."

A Google spokesperson pointed out the fallacy of Santorum's thinking and how little he knows about how search engines work saying, "Google's search results are a reflection of the content and information that is available on the web. Users who want content removed from the Internet should contact the webmaster of the page directly. Once the webmaster takes the page down from the web, it will be removed from Google's search results through our usual crawling process."

A quick search of the web also provides this important clue: No one has attempted to link Biden's name to fecal matter thanks to his vicious attacks on LGBT people. Instead, the top searches all point to other issues conservatives have had with the politician.

As also of note: This isn't just a "Google problem." It's also a Yahoo problem, a Bing problem, and even a Chinese search engine Baidu all list the definition of "santorum" before the candidate's website.

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See! Dan Savage isn't all bad after all! (Okay, although I have criticized him harshly upon occasion, I have never said or heard it said that he is "all bad" ...)

I like this tactic! Let's do more! I think the LGBT community should start using the term "tea party" as gay jargon that means a late night porno fest and circle jerk for impotent gay men over fifty.

It's even rather apropos ... don't you think?

(Hurry! I just checked! The domain name "" is available!)

As a very private person recently outed by a right wing blogger with a vendetta against someone else, I have some sympathy for Mr. Santorum. It is very disheartening to see infantile intrusion into your private life reported by the search engines as if it is your measure as a person.

Rick Santorum is not "a very private person" -- he is a public figure by choice, and he says hateful things about the LGBT populace by choice.

My heart bleeds for him. Poor, little Rickie Santorum -- the asshole son-of-a-bitch!

And most importantly, says those slanderous things about LGBT people and their moral fiber and character IN PUBLIC. He deserves everything he gets. That's the risk you take.

I despise Rick Santorum's politics. But he is a human being. And so are his kids, who will learn the grisliest details of anal sex when they and their classmates innocently google their own last name... and who will deal with the humiliation and bullying that will inevitably result.

And the far right has a new excuse when they come after us. And then we one-up them. And then, look out, they get REALLY imaginative.

And not a vote will be changed.

The big loser is civility.

You know, this just never gets old for me. And that pic of Rick Santorum eating a coneful of "santorum", which is "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex", just makes it funnier.

Carol, I agree! ... More fun than giving the captain of the basketball team a wedgie!

Rick Santorum is the stereotypical self-hating gay closet case. Someone is out there who can out him, and it is way past time for that to happen.

Jim Toevs

if only someone could redefine "Bachmann" and "Palin" now....

A definition for "Palin" is easy: it's the act of promoting something when your personal life is testament to it not working. Like abstinence-only education with Bristol, or education of any kind with Sarah. For example:

"John Paulk/Ted Haggard/Michael Johnston/(insert shamed gay anti-gay of choice here) was palin the ex-gay movement."

Aww diddums. That's what you you get for being such an arse-wipe, Santorum-for-brains.