Last night for Valentine's Day, my partner, David, and I decided to go for a less traditional approach to the holiday. Rather than going out for dinner and a movie or making a meal together at home, we accepted an invitation to an erotic book reading which was being hosted at a friend's place in the neighborhood. We were not completely sure what to expect, but why not give it a go?
The night was mostly mingling and about a half hour of readings by the author, Nobilis Reed, and others from his new erotica anthology, Coming Together: In Flux. The audience was a varied mix and the readings sparked plenty of conversation about the connection everyone in the room shared - erotica is a very important part of the human experience.
My first access to erotica began the day my family installed WebTV in our house at some point during my seventh or eighth grade year of middle school. I was still confused and scared by my sexuality. As a United Pentecostal Jesus freak, I would cry myself to sleep at night out of fear Christ would return just as a boy in my dreams was hitting the right spot. Even so, the night we got the internet connection, I skipped church and the first thing I searched was the word "gay," and then as now, the first thing to pop up (and honestly what I was looking for), was porn.
This was still before the days of videos, so my choices were pictures and stories, and it was the stories that taught me the most. For a boy with no experience, a story can teach much more than a photo.
As I progressed through school and puberty and as the internet continued to evolve, I became a regular contributor in the gay chat rooms, which for all intents and purposes were live blogged erotica. But when video came along, I found myself loosing the need to write down my fantasies. I also feared a family member might find any written records. Therefore, it was very easy just to hop aboard the world of webcams and ride it on to college.
Even though my consumption had greatly diminished as I neared the end of high school, erotica had served a purpose greater than just helping me get off; It taught me that I was not alone, and my feelings and fantasies were not disgusting and shameful - and it kept me sane until I could escape to the University of Missouri in the fall of 2003.
With college came the freedom to come out, the hopes for a career in writing, and finally some real life experience to use in my own stories - and in my first writing class, I did just that.
More and an excerpt from one of my stories after the jump.
My mom recently mailed me some boxes that I had packed away after I graduated college and could not haul to DC. Inside were copies of some manuscripts from my many writing classes including one from my first writing class my sophomore year. Titled "The Missouri," I hadn't read it in years and had forgotten most of it except for the opening scene (upon rereading I can remember why - it is really the only part worth reading).
It was nominated for an award (it did not win), and shows my age and limited view of the world at the time, but the part that shines is the sex. The opening scene takes place at night on the banks of the Missouri River as two boys, newly dating, make their first explorations of each others bodies.
At the time I was nervous about submitting the story for workshopping. Missouri could still be a scary place and more than 50% of the class was straight males. How would they take a gay sex scene?
I was surprised by the positive reactions - hot but tasteful.
I actually did not go into the story thinking of it as erotica - I fade to black just before the good part - but upon rereading, it definitely is. It shows my age at the time, but it also shows that gay or straight, the story of sex done right can be hot no matter the gender or sexual orientation of those involved (or I lucked out that my peers in the worksop just happened to be very open minded).
Either way, I'm glad for the recent reminders, both the story and my Valentine's Day plans, of the role erotica has played in my life.
I've included an excerpt below. Be kind - I was only 19 - but hopefully it can still inspire you to touch yourself. Who doesn't like making people horny? Let me know what you think or if you are interested in reading the whole thing. Maybe I'll put it up.
Just for some set up, in this scene Mark (a college student) has been taken by his love interest, Kyle (also a college student), to a secluded place by the Missouri River in the middle of the night. Enjoy.
We continued looking at the stars. He stood behind me and wrapped me in his arms. It was peaceful. The only noise was the trickling of the river and the wind in the bushes. I closed my eyes as my head lay back on his shoulder. This was perfect.
I pulled away from his arms and turned to face him. His arms returned to their position around my waist as I placed my left hand on the small of his back and my right hand on the back of his head. I pulled his face close to mine, and our lips met.
His kisses, like his lips, were soft. Unlike most of the guys (and girls) I'd kissed, Kyle knew what he was doing.
As we kissed he moved his hand to the back of my neck and began to play with my shaggy hair. I worked my way up the back of his shirt with one hand as I brushed his face with my other. We stood close enough to feel the activity of other appendages as they awoke down below.
We stopped kissing and stood with our foreheads together and eyes locked. He smiled at me and used his thumb to examine the dimple in my chin.
"The ass of my face," I said smiling.
"I think it's cute," He said as he gave it a lick. We laughed.
We went back to kissing and blindly removed our jackets. I then pulled his shirt over his head, and he followed with mine. I explored the newly exposed skin with my hands, taking extra time on the tiny bit of fur on the small of his back and his nipples. His chest was bare until you reached his belly button where a small trail led down to unexplored territory.
He began to trace the waist of my pants with his fingers. After a few minutes of teasing he pushed his hand inside. I wasn't wearing underwear as usual so he immediately found bare skin.
"Go commando often?" He asked while giving my bare ass a squeeze.
"Yeah. Out of lack of desire to do laundry."
He laughed and gave it another squeeze.
We smiled before returning to kissing, and I let my hand wander around to the front of his pants. I began rubbing the hard lump in Kyle's jeans causing him to produce a small groan.
After a few minutes I decided to take things further than we had before. While continuing to kiss and while keeping my left hand on his back, I began to unbuckle Kyle's belt. After a small struggle the belt released, and I easily unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. With both hands I worked his jeans and boxers down until they dropped around his ankles. He let out a small laugh before copying my actions.
"Now would be a good time for someone to walk up," I laughed.
"It's late, and there's rarely anyone out here anyway."
"I feel so natural right now," I said in a grand voice with my arms towards the sky. "Out in the wilderness, naked and kissing a boy, just like God intended."
"You're nuts," said Kyle.
"What about them?"
"Funny," he said while shaking his head before leaning in to kiss me again.
It was chilly without clothes on, but I felt comfortable against his warm body. We moved back into our routine of wandering hands and kissing but with more energy and desire than before.
I broke my lips from his and kissed my way down to his neck. After a few moments of attention, I began to work my way down his chest. I stopped at each nipple before allowing my tongue to slowly move down to his belly button. I reached his treasure trail, then followed it home.
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